I wanted you to know, when you post images that say "KILL YOURSELF", what kind of person is forced to see that message.
On May 29, I used this post to tell you my story,that of being hounded with the constant
feeling of suicidality, despite not being the sort of person who will ever actually commit it.
My story went through my history with child abandonment and child neglect, child rape, bullying, attempting suicide, overcoming autism, living with PTSD, difficulties to accept my trans identity exacerbated by the absence of local community and the difficulty to fit in online communities.
I do not consider this story a secret, but I do not wish to leave it on Cohost for archival. I prefer to share it in a better context, on a site that does not have an adversarial relationship with me.
If you are up to it, and you are aware of what went down on Friday and Saturday with the "KYS image," please read this. Please heed the multiple warnings and take my "if you are up to it" seriously. It covers subjects that are very difficult, even for people in a good place mentally. If you were affected badly by what went down, it is not aimed at you; you already know. This is not a pleasant story, and it is not an easy read, but it's her story, not something that can (or should) be softened or have its impact cushioned.
It is one of my most deeply held beliefs that one should be mindful of what one says to avoid causing harm to others. We must have kindness, respect, and compassion. This includes being heedful of the needs people who are different from us, whose formative experiences are different, who might deal with things differently, and who might be affected by our words differently.
We must avoid being cruel. It fucks you up, even aimed at the enemy, and it can and does harm people you don't intend to harm. As tempting as it is to want to see the bastards suffer as we have, to see them suffer as they make us suffer, our ways of expressing this can cause actual, tangible hurt to the people around us. Some weapons aimed at the enemy harm people who we don't wish to harm.
Read this and understand what happens to others when we are careless. Please. Imagine yourself in a similar situation. Imagine how it hurts. Remember this, and be careful going forwards. If we aren't careful, if we don't ensure we are being kind and respectful to our own, even when lashing out at those who would seek to kill us, we aren't much better than our enemies. We have to aim our rhetorical weapons carefully, and choose which ones to use, and which ones aren't worth using for the harm they cause to those who don't deserve harm. We must make helping, not hurting, our core focus.
Fascists take glee in indulging in cruelty; they don't care who they hurt, as long as they're hurting someone. Please, please be careful. We must not be like them, or what's the fucking point?
