customer drops a 24-inch-cubed box on the floor in front of my scale. I ask if she can put it on the scale and she just, shrugs? she brought it all the way up to the counter just fine, and now she's staring at me. okay, sure, i'll come all the way around from behind the counter, pick up your box, put it on the scale, and then walk all the way back around for you. while you stand in the way both ways, of course, and make me squeeze past you because you don't understand how to move a step or two apparently. whatever. let's get this over with.
"I work for Delta, so make sure to give me the Delta discount." yeah. sure. whatever.
okay lady your 24-cube box that weighs 25lbs going four states over is gonna cost $101, before whatever discount Delta gives I guess.
okay, let's see. hmm. There's no Delta discount. Okay. I don't want you to have a temper tantrum, so let's see what else we've got... AARP gives you 5%... Let's be nice and say you're a UPS employee, that gives you 10% off. Okay. That'll be $91.
she just stares at me for like 5 seconds. I stare back. waiting for her to inevitably say some incredibly stupid shit. finally it comes.
"last time i was here with the same size box and everything it was just $20."
im not playing this game. no ma'am. no thank you. i'm not even going to pretend that isn't the dumbest thing i've heard anyone say today.
i look over at the box and respond in a suitably quizzical tone "well, i don't think a box this size and weight would have cost that little to ship in, oh, the past twenty years or so. so i'm not sure where you remember that..." look back to her. staring contest for another 3 or so seconds.
"oh. maybe it was FedEx that has the Delta discount."
yeah, sure lady. FedEx definitely has a contract with Delta to ship all Delta employees' packages at an absurd loss. 80% discount. Totally.
she pays anyways. which just solidifies the truth - she was, of course, completely full of it. if she really believed she could get that box shipped for $20 at FedEx, why on earth would she accept our price and pay $91? The answer, simple: she knows she can't really get that price at FedEx, she is completely full of it and just though she'd shoot her shot in trying to gaslight me into giving her a discount so absurd that it would cost us money (we get billed by UPS directly for shipments and just charge a markup on their rates in order to turn a profit).
i dislike people.