Planning to do a Q&A video so if you have questions about me, my work, etc, feel free to ask there or here
please be respectful with the questions, objectifying questions or harassment won't be engaged with
quoting what it says in the link above here
re: Q&A video, my partner Ash suggested I could make one and that sounded cool
I do get a lot of comments sometimes around the same sort of subjects, like bravocat's story, so on, and I've... admittedly not really known how to engage with youtube well? Like... (quickly looks) there's 31.9K of you here supposedly? That's a crazy number (even though I'm aware that a lot of subscriptions are like... sometimes abandoned accounts or just people who follow but don't really keep up very closely, so I don't tend to take the number very literally) and i'm trying not to take that for granted
Even if just 1/4th of that number are relatively active, that would be about 8k people and that's such a large amount
Are there questions you have? I can't promise to answer all of them, or to give large spoilers to stories, but it could still be nice to interact here
touching the lives of a bunch of people is a really wild thing to consider... I admittedly would like to learn to just... be more open and interact more, to feel okay with interaction
For a long time, I've struggled with the idea that I need to maintain some sort of Brand and I've compartmentalized parts of myself and that sure as hell fucked me up
that fucked me UPPPPPPPP
i'd rather relearn to just... exist as a person again
i miss caring about my work for myself, as opposed to generating engagement to build an audience or something
creativity pushed to be accessible for the sake of monetization has really hurt me
so I think a Q&A video could be a nice idea
And it goes without saying, but I will say it to be clear: questions that are respectful (even if difficult) will be prioritized over questions that objectify or harass me
Ultimately, I have limited energy to answer things, and truthfully I don't know how much people really will even have interest in asking me things, so I don't have a very concrete plan here and can't guarantee what I will or won't answer, but I am generally looking forward to this, I think? It's a little nerve-wracking to admit I'm looking forward to something <-- I am mentally ill and traumatized
Right, on that note, I would also probably use this video to talk about why I've been absent a lot, or generally my struggles with working on music because I feel that's important? I want to make music, but it's hard to feel able to with so much internally that I repeatedly try to shoulder myself
I feel generally that people are well-meaning when they try to engage with me, but... Well, it's kind of weird i guess
people seem to have an idea of me like... this... i guess "celebrity" in a way? Like an assumption that seems to come with being a content creator with any level of notice is thinking that they're untouchable or somehow really different as a person with an assumption of more "success" compared to a common person and... no?
I'm rambling a bit at this point
I just feel like... responding in voice holds a level of context that text doesn't? I would like for my tone to be more easily understood
I think I'd probably be answering these questions while doing something idle like playing minecraft
Anyway, that's where I'm at currently, thanks for reading and any questions