Future Perfect

[talking on the rotary telephone that I'm carrying through the grocery store:] Yeah no they actually changed the rules this year, straight boyfriends are allowed at pride so long as you keep them on a leash. Yeah, no more than ten feet. And none of those, like, wireless ones. Obviously it helps stop them biting each other but it's also about, like, nesting shorebirds. Straight boyfriends will scare 'em away from their baby birdies. Plus they're domesticated so they shouldn't be eating random wild birds anyway. No. Uh? No, I really don't think there's any other reason to put a leash on your straight boyfriend. No, that doesn't sound right. I'd think I'd have heard about it if that was a thing. Anyway I'm going through a tunnel, bye. [I huck the phone into the lobster tank]