perfectform

#1 Cryptolithus Fan

  • ordovician limeshale she/they

Mais il n'y a rien là pour la Science. Editor, New York Review of Wasps.

posts from @perfectform tagged #my uncle dracula

also:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4:

When Kevin woke up, it was time for breakfast. Still wearing the baggy Herobrine t-shirt and basketball shorts he'd gone to sleep in, Kevin brushed his teeth and went down the stairs to the dining room. As he turned around the last spiral of the staircase, he saw Renfield busily pushing food around the stovetop, wearing a loose blue-striped button-down and a nightcap. Further down the counter, Kevin's mom leaned her back against the edge of the sink, speaking into a stick with a cup on the end that Kevin eventually realized was a telephone. At the head of the dining room table—a twenty-foot slab of polished oak—sat Kevin's uncle, who was Dracula, wearing his usual morning tuxedo.

"Good morning," boomed Kevin's uncle, who was Dracula, "My dear Kevin, who is--"



Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3:

Kevin's uncle, who was Dracula, smiled down at Kevin. He then turned to look at the man standing to Kevin's right, who was still holding a duffel bag in each hand.

"And also you, Friendfield. It is good that you came back in, as it is quickly getting dark, my1 dear friend2."

"Exactly so," said Renfield.

"Kevin," Kevin's mom began, "Your bedtime is coming up. Could you find your room and unpack while your uncle--who is Dracula--and I finish our conversation?"

Kevin did not like the emphasis his mom had put on the word "conversation."

"Perhaps," suggested Renfield, "I could show Kevin my insectarium, then guide him to his room."

"Ah," said Kevin's uncle, who was Dracula, "You mean to show him your collection of arthropods, consisting of various species of insects, arachnids, isopods, springtails, and myriapods, Friendfield?"

"Exactly so," said Renfield.

Kevin's uncle, who was Dracula, clapped his hands twice. "Then! I shall bid you a good night, my nephew!"

Renfield pushed open a door in a dark corner of the room, beckoning Kevin to follow.

"Sleep tight," said Kevin's mom, her voice soft. Then the door shut, and he could hear no more from his mom, nor from his uncle, who was Dracula.


  1. Dracula, who was Kevin's uncle.

  2. Renfield, who was Kevin's uncle's friend, whom Kevin's uncle, who is Dracula, calls "Friendfield," because his name is Renfield, and he2 is his1 friend.



Chapter 1:
Chapter 2
Chapter 3

“But mom,” Kevin asked, “why do I have to go live with my uncle, who is Dracula?”

“You will understand when you are older,” said Kevin’s mom, “About why I am sending you to live with your uncle, who is Dracula.”

Kevin hated being told that he would understand when he was older, especially when he asked questions about his uncle, who was Dracula.

“Sigh,” sighed Kevin. He looked out the window of his mom’s cramped sedan, watching the high craggy tors of the Transylvanian cliffs whip past. He shifted in his seat, feeling uncomfortable. It had been a long drive from Poughkeepsie, New York--three hours--and his bag of pretzel snacks was almost empty. His mom reached a cupped hand toward him in the back seat, beckoning with her fingertips. Kevin put a few pretzel snacks in her palm.

"Thank you," said Kevin's mom. "We will be taking our off-ramp from European Route 70 shortly, and from there it is only an hour to your uncle's house, which is Dracula's house, okay?"

Kevin said nothing and slumped deeper into his seat.


 
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