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Anonymous Guest asked:

hi it's me! I'm one of the ghost asks, let's hope it works this time. have you considered starting a Patreon, Kofi, etc for your writing, even just a "thank you" tier with no promises? you don't seem to like your current job very much, and you're Internet Famous (tm) enough to get at least a little pocket money

hello! all my ghost asks have suddenly appeared so now I am answering them. and the answer is that I'm not doing that for the moment because:

  1. even if I made no promises, I would inevitably feel guilty for not writing, or for forcing myself to write and making dogshit. maybe someday I'll get back into the headspace and lifestyle where I reliably have Things To Say but I don't want to feel like I'm taking money for nothing until then

  2. I don't need it. I get paid okay and I have savings, and a lot of the people who follow me online are not in such a fortunate situation, and I don't want to put myself on the receiving end of that "one $20 bill that gets passed around" when the giver needs it more than me

both of these can change. if I feel that I'm consistently producing good work (and this isn't an imposter syndrome thing, I have felt that way before, I just don't now), then I have something to offer people, and I can have more of a sense that they're paying me out of their entertainment budget instead of their mutual aid budget.

I know this puts me in a little bit of a catch-22 if I won't accept funding until I'm doing good work and I can't do good work until I have funding, but I do have savings to cover a gap in formal employment. so that gives me a chance to figure out if I can get my juice back on my own dime first. if the answer is "yes, actually, my best work is not all behind me, when I'm not ultra-stressed anymore I make stuff that is super meaningful to lots of people," then I'll take their money


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