phoul

Systems Monger

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🖥️Sysadmin & Network ops🖥️

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jnnnn
@jnnnn
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flintlock-media
@flintlock-media

I don't think this is an ADHD trait, I'm sure most people would react like this. But I keep being asked to do dumb shit at work that basically boils down to "The CTO has mangled a bunch of code so the UI is now a nightmare. Anyway we're good with that part, we now just want you to continue adding a few sprinkles to the nightmare."

I end up procrastinating because my brain rebels against doing stuff that is inherently stupid. My main coping mechanism is to keep reminding myself that I get paid either way, but aren't we also supposed to care about high standards and take pride in our work? I hate that capitalism expects us to shut up and get on with it and be super 'passionate' and whatever bullshit. I can't do both, brah.


zumphry
@zumphry
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in reply to @jnnnn's post:

yikes. it's as if you were describing my life back to me on the open internet... ._.

i also am unsure about what to do with the information that procrastination is a coping mechanism for negative feelings towards The Work Ahead but can also be unrelated to The Work... or that i might have adhd but somehow (to me the following is an obvious observation of how things must have always been for me) my Parents' Parenting Patterns peened me in a way so that there is this tiny island of shut-up-and-power-through which most of the time is not accessible to me... except by this tiny dinghy and the fare being my Motivation For Personal Projects?.. but whenever i think about this i come to the conclusion that i cannot have adhd because i do can power through... so... idk what to do

in reply to @flintlock-media's post:

Can relate. Have a multi hour survey to do at work that I know no one will actually read, and I have deadlines for real work. Convincing myself to start multiple hours of wasted time is difficult.

ouch...

hell... i had it really good. used to work at some comp writing software purely for internal use. (aside from the legacy projects i inherited there which were controlled dumpster fires at best) at first: green meadow, all is good...

but eventually i caught on to my work being not really appreciated.. and motivation started going downhill.

felt alot like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zi8ShAosqzI

Oh yeah! Years ago I had a job like that where I was basically updating the company intranet and doing little odd jobs here and there. I wasn't really appreciated on a career level, like I wasn't going to be promoted or given more exciting work anytime soon, but I did feel that often the individuals I talked to who asked me for fixes and changes on the intranet were genuinely grateful and appreciated working with me. Like a fooool I left that job because I felt like my "career was stagnating" and that I wasn't going to "learn and grow" if I stayed there. Technically I was right, but these days I'd love to have a job where I can just quietly stagnate without worrying about it.

ugh... yeah... i left more because i knew i could not get a raise nor lower my hours... and also a good pal works at my new job

it's nice to have someone to talk to

i dunno, I feel like that really is and ADHD trait, or rather, ADHD is what makes that a problem rather than some something to work through. i think a neurotypical person might feel that friction when faced with stupid or meaningless tasks, but in their brain chemistry it boils down to a reluctance, rather than an actual dopamine management issue which turns the reluctance into an obstacle.