I've been thinking a lot recently about the way that the self I present to the world is a performance, but is also authentic in being a performance. I chose how I perform myself to others, and making that choice in line with my values is (to me) a more authentic way of being myself with people than not performing at all. I choose every day to express through my performance as best I can the honest heart of myself, and so the costume is in some way a truer Natalie than whatever lies beneath inasmuch as such a thing even exists.
I usually conceptualize this in relation to theater, an art form very close to my heart. The writing, staging, rehearsal, and performance of a play is precisely what makes it capable of expressing deep truths. It's not "inauthentic" because it's carefully planned; it's carefully planned to make it hit the audience as truly as possible.
But I'm writing this because it just occurred to me that there's a connection here to Judaism as well. Judaism is very much a religion of practice rather than faith. The primary importance is that you enact the mitzvot; believing and specific postulates about where they came from or why you're doing them is secondary. That's why there's such a grand tradition of Jewish atheists (which I float in and out of over time). Judaism exists most truly in the performance of Judaism and especially the performance with others, and I wonder how much that affected the way I think of my performance of myself.
