Wisdom 1

ARP instruments must have been at war with Magnavox and Atari.

Wisdom 2

My parents always talk about how cool the Atari is, but whenever I try playing any Atari games I get bored in 2 seconds—something is awry.

Wisdom 3

I looked on the social security bureau's website, and it said my social security number is ***-**-****. I didn't even know you could count to *!

Wisdom 4

If you count on your hands in binary, you can reach 1,024, and doing math in binary—at least addition, subtraction, and multiplication—on your hands is really easy.

Wisdom 5

I ate a big motherfucking sandwich made of eggs and bacon and lettuce and tomatoes and onions and peppers and salami and ham and cheese and mustard and mayo and ketchup and provolone and dirt and mud and clay and ants and crickets and cockroaches and sticks and stones and mud daubers and wasps and bees and spiders and spider webs and rocks and grass and gravel and plastic wrappers and empty cans and water bottles.