They say you and me are ⌈Tautology⌋

i'm glad i became the person i am. i'm glad i have the headmates i have. i'm glad i have the partners i have. i'm glad i have the chosen family i have, and the friends i have. i'm glad i live in seattle.

i'm glad i survived.

• holy shit i'm so glad that online transfemme culture moved on from "harassing disbarred canadian fake goths", that shit was basically hazing.
• also glad that (as far as i can tell) no one says shit like "you're displaying anger so you're clearly not actually a trans woman" anymore.
  • we had reasons to be angry then and we have more now.
• i'm glad i figured out i'm non-binary. trying to force myself into the binary only hurt me. a lot.
  • i thank homestuck for that one.
• i'm also glad that transfemme culture moved on from being steeped in something awful and worse places. that shit was also really isolating because there was a massive culture gap.
• i think the most important piece of advice i have for any trans person is "don't let the cultures you are new to dictate your behavior as a newly-out trans person."
  • there are ways in which tumblr and twitter fed me a lot of lies about how trans women "are" and the shit i learned from those places led to me hurting people i care/d about. i will carry the guilt of those actions until the day i die. i got hurt, too. it sucked. it still sucks, in places.
• yes, i was immediately happier, but another piece of advice: "self-actualizing doesn't stop keep happening." gender led to sexuality fed back into gender and swirled into plurality and also led to figuring out a bunch of weird brain shit we have. it doesn't stop keep happening.
  • relatedly: dear god do we need to kneecap "if you're a trans woman you're automatically a lesbian". that's a severe overcorrection from the "to transition you need to become straight in your new gender". it took a while to remove that from my brain. boys good. boys hot.
  • if you don't want to label your gender? don't. just vibe. it rules.
• i am so much happier as the person i am now than i was more than a decade ago. i get happier each and every day. i get better each and every day.
• i love being me. i love being fionna charlotte adams. it kicks ass.

let's go for another decade, huh? love you all. <3

• tech workers aren't the only ones subject to "personal improvement plans". you will get overly scrutinized, even under the same workload and level of performance. i suggest looking for a new job when you're planning on coming out.
• some cis women have some buck-fucking-wild ideas of what the fuck being a girl means. this can really suck, both in startup culture and in established companies. keep an eye out and draw firm boundaries as needed.
• dress comfortably as much as you're able. you're adapting to a new wardrobe (most likely) and it's more important to be comfortable than it is to meet others' expectations of how you should look.
• it'll be hard to keep a job, even in "good" and "progressive" cities and states. do your best. get everything in writing. don't cede any ground you don't need to.

• holy shit i'm so glad that online transfemme culture moved on from "harassing disbarred canadian fake goths", that shit was basically hazing.
• also glad that (as far as i can tell) no one says shit like "you're displaying anger so you're clearly not actually a trans woman" anymore.
  • we had reasons to be angry then and we have more now.
• i'm glad i figured out i'm non-binary. trying to force myself into the binary only hurt me. a lot.
  • i thank homestuck for that one.
• i'm also glad that transfemme culture moved on from being steeped in something awful and worse places. that shit was also really isolating because there was a massive culture gap.
• i think the most important piece of advice i have for any trans person is "don't let the cultures you are new to dictate your behavior as a newly-out trans person."
  • there are ways in which tumblr and twitter fed me a lot of lies about how trans women "are" and the shit i learned from those places led to me hurting people i care/d about. i will carry the guilt of those actions until the day i die. i got hurt, too. it sucked. it still sucks, in places.
• yes, i was immediately happier, but another piece of advice: "self-actualizing doesn't stop keep happening." gender led to sexuality fed back into gender and swirled into plurality and also led to figuring out a bunch of weird brain shit we have. it doesn't stop keep happening.
  • relatedly: dear god do we need to kneecap "if you're a trans woman you're automatically a lesbian". that's a severe overcorrection from the "to transition you need to become straight in your new gender". it took a while to remove that from my brain. boys good. boys hot.
  • if you don't want to label your gender? don't. just vibe. it rules.
• i am so much happier as the person i am now than i was more than a decade ago. i get happier each and every day. i get better each and every day.
• i love being me. i love being fionna charlotte adams. it kicks ass.

let's go for another decade, huh? love you all. <3