they only fail to persevere.
"you still believe that shit?" the demoness asked derisively as she finished drawing the runes on the side of your head. damn, were you projecting your internal experience of the world onto nearby consciousnesses again?
"'believe' is a strong word," you reply through gritted teeth. the sound is like steel-on-bone.
"you angelgirls love strong words," she retorts, voice dripping with mockery. you'd give her a gentle warning smite, if you weren't depending on her for relief.
depending. it was bad enough you were doing that, let alone upon a demon. it didn't matter that she was your girlfriend. in some ways, that made it worse. you'd hardly provided for her lately. you'd likely been sick far before you'd admitted it to anyone, self included.
she cut in: "honey, you were the last to know."
you swore again. of all the symptoms, the projection was the most annoying. the searing pain in your dented, flickering halo was tolerable—almost familiar—but the lack of privacy was uncomfortably reminiscent of a different time.
"yes, but i'm not your garrison, babe," the demoness replied, "...thank all the hells."
you didn't know if you were so grateful. no, no, you were— sorry babe, i didn't mean it like that.
"i know you didn't. i've been dating you long enough. if i couldn't handle self-destructive nostalgia, i'd have left you to wander stupidly into a temple like a moth to electricity a long time ago. now shut up, keep quiet, and let me finish the runes. don't you ringheads learn to meditate and all that shit?"
yes. but it was a lot easier when you could just tap into the divine gestalt and draw upon the peace of the collective purpose.
"'peace' is a strong word some manipulative divine shithead filling your mind with the urge to break yourself against the barricade of its enemies," she teases.
"angelgirls love strong words," you retort flatly.
"see, you're learning!" she exclaims with a mischievous giggle. you're just about to complain about the willful misinterpretation of your words when she presses a palm to the side of your head and the entire room bursts into color. a shining yellow-white on your side, and a deep, viscous purple on her's, curling at the edges. where the two meet, sparks fly, fizzing, popping, and smoking.
"stop fighting it, idiot!" she shouts frustratedly. your light only pushes harder, threatening to cover her. her skin begins to burn at the edges. "babe, please!"
the 'please' hits you like an exorcism. you still aren't used to it. your light begins receding, traveling across your body as the purple smoke envelopes you, until the last of your emanations are extinguished and disappear from the wall behind you.
purple clouds the yellow of your eyes, distorting your vision. you can feel the haze in your consciousness. thanks, you think. no reply. she looks at you intently.
"i think it worked babe. you're gonna have to use your words."
you try again, with mortal tongue: "thanks."
"you're welcome!" she says brightly, kissing the demonic sigil on the shaved side of your scalp...but you can see her gingerly rubbing the singed edges of her talons.
"sorry..." you mutter quietly.
"apologize again and i'll add a pain rune," she whispers sweetly into your ear as she takes you into her arms and cradles you in her wings. her tail wraps your thigh twice, and finally, mercifully, you let your body fall, collapsing into her embrace as you experience the muted world, your numinous connection to it muffled temporarily.
"we can stay like this as long as you like," she coos softly in your ear.
"i don't want to be like this at all," you say, voice breaking, shamed.
"i know babe," she says, achingly gentle. "but you are, and i love you. let that be enough for now?"
you nod, and eventually, sleep.
NEVER/END
