I rarely speak for myself on Cohost because I am disinclined to speak, both audibly and in type. I realize that this is partly a traumatic problem. I used to spend altogether too much time typing.
Chara has been stricken with guilt about talking over me. That has always been the pattern of our life, as true now as it was decades ago, in a different era of our lives. Our well-meaning but clumsy and heedless mother, noticing that I was taciturn and disinclined to socialize, would try to force me to do so, sometimes by insisting upon my presence at some event that Chara would try to arrange for themselves. It was a source of considerable friction and resentment among us. Chara would gamely try to include me in conversation; it never worked.
There are too many ancient tensions and conflicts that lie between the two of us. We understood each other so...badly. Chara apparently thought that they were continually angering me, because I would look angry—perhaps I was, but it was at myself. I thought Chara was hopelessly lost in frivolity, unable to take life seriously, always blundering into easily avoidable trouble. Perhaps that was just as well...I suspect that the role that they have contrived to play in the world could only have been stumbled into. I am ill-used to thinking in terms of the mythical archetypes that come so freely to Chara, but I can dimly glimpse what it is to be a "Fool", and why everything that I once resented about Chara was actually integral to their being. They could not help being anything but what they were. An irritant, yes, but a well-meaning one, and able to stagger forward when everyone around them faltered. Fools, indeed, seem able to go where angels fear to tread. (I've never read that book by the way.)
I am sorry that we ever fell out, Chara. Let us understand each other better, at last.
~Frisk of Pnictogen