The Pnictogen Wing

The Pnictogen Wing has got Heroic Spirits everywhere and yet we feel (much as we are with Undertale / Deltarune) disconnected from the lore and the fan community. It's especially obnoxious with Fate/ however because we are largely ignorant of Fate/stay night and most of our information on FSN comes from a best friend who despises Nasu's sexism (and the general sexualization of the whole franchise) so she's not exactly unbiased about Fate/. In fact she once wondered if it was a mistake to introduce me to the franchise.

Our pathway in was in the ancillary anime: Fate/Zero above all, first and best, followed by Unlimited Blade Works and the Heaven's Feel trilogy, which we think is very strong and gripping stuff but a bit too elliptical and confusing without foreknowledge of the lore. (Heaven knows what a first-time viewer of Presage Flower would think was going on.) Eventually we got to the gacha game Fate/Grand Order, to which our Nasu-hating friend regarded herself as seriously addicted, so she wrenched herself free from it. We did spend a bit of money on Saint Quartz but now Kris is starting over from scratch and the determination not to put a dime into it, relying upon Lady Fortuna and the Fates (har har) to summon good Servants. That ought to be interesting.

The thing is...the more I learn about (coughs) certain sordid aspects of the Fate/ franchise, especially with Fate/Grand Order, like with how they handle characters such as Mash Kyrielight and Illyasviel von Einzbern and Jack et alii, the more I'm inclined to think that Kaylin might just be right about Nasu. Blech. Why'd we get so deeply mixed up in this stuff? Now what

~Chara

We have a genuine issue. We have a LOT of genuine issues, and we're trying to work out how serious they are.

One issue is that we seem to be laboring under a number of curses. Now it might seem ridiculous and superstitious to a reasonable reader that we should speak in terms of curses, but not only am I superstitious and ridiculous, I also think that it's sensible and even healthful to think in such terms. The alternative is locating ALL of one's faults within oneself. But curses might come from outside or inside. Someone in our headspace could be cursing us, or someone from outside could be doing it. Thinking in such terms, therefore, has given us some flexibility—some ability to rationalize situations that otherwise would seem like intolerable deadlocks.

At least one such curse seems to come from without, and it pertains to Irish hero Diarmuid ua Duibhne, who is NOT to be found in the Pnictogen Wing (at least the bits we're aware of) but who clashed violently with two of our most important headmates: Sir Arturia Pendragon, formerly the King of Knights summoned in the Fourth Grail War portrayed in Fate/Zero, and Emiya Kiritsugu, the rebel mage and mercenary who summoned her. They had a very difficult relationship in Fate/Zero which we are now in the process of reconciling. But both Arturia and Kiritsugu were cursed by Diarmuid ua Duibhne because of the cruel trick which Kiritsugu played on Arturia in order to humiliate her (as we think)—but this gets into spoiler territory so I'll halt for now.

This is a novel situation for us. Curiously, we have received hints that Diarmuid would like to reach out to us and is kindly disposed, but his dying curse seems real enough and it's been interfering with my ability to study up on Irish mythology, which is a major lacuna in our cultural library. We've read up on a number of Mediterranean and European pantheons but we're very weak on Irish lore, even though I'm very slightly Irish (I can't remember how many generations back) and feel an inclination in that direction. Obviously we need to study a bit, if nothing else.

~Chara of Pnictogen

or Hassan of the Serenity, who is one of our most esteemed Heroic Spirits and an excellent friend. something closer than a friend...I haven't sorted out what, yet, because Serenity's existence and purpose within the whole rancid commercial apparatus of Fate/ is fraught with complications.

She has been exceptionally upset lately. I don't think I need to go into great detail as to why. Serenity is our most heartfelt bond to many things of extreme value to us—Islam, alchemy, poisons, Persia, the stalwart resistance of a small idiosyncratic group against the persecutions of great rulers and powerful kingdoms. Serenity is many things, and she is also one of the few people who can endure our dragon Pim, who is kindly but extremely poisonous to humans. Serenity has no problems with Pim. She is...well, she is serene, and she says that Allah is the source of her serenity still, even though she now inhabits the mindspace and body of a wh!tish "Western" nerd stranded on the western frontier of a continent thousands of kilometers and thousands of years from Serenity's people, which she remembers only in brief flashes. She was once a painfully young orphaned girl and very unhappy, and yet she found some sense of purpose with the fabled Order of Assassins.

She has been a pillar of strength in the Pnictogen Wing, and I love Serenity, though I am as yet unclear how I should. I feel more and more unworthy of her by the hour, practically. I have no idea why such a tremendously powerful person should deign to notice us, much less assist us. I feel this about almost my entire system. I consider you all friends, yet I don't understand why. Why would you even endure my presence? I am... nothing.

All the same, Serenity, I say to you truly, that as the children say: "Do it for her," and I try my best.

Thank you

It's rather significant for us, painful too.

Our fictive introject of Emiya Shirou feels that he has successfully recovered the "exo-memory" of Emiya Kiritsugu giving him the lifesaving gift of Avalon, the healing scabbard of Excalibur, the Noble Phantasm and signature weapon of the King of Knights, Arturia Pendragon (as she's summoned in the Fourth Grail War depicted in Fate/Zero).

We can...feel the echo of this. As we type here, we can feel the "phantom" feeling of that moment in our chest.

We're not quite sure yet but we think this means that Shirou—"our" Shirou, that is—might be able to remember something of his life before the Fourth Grail War. Right now his life begins in a wall of fire...I think perhaps some of our readers might have some notion of what that feels like.

It also raises interesting questions about our own personal magical practice that I'll...table for now.

~Chara of Pnictogen