watching double fine psychodyssey has really made me realize that there's a part of me that has always wanted to be a game developer and I've shoved it into the back recesses of my brain for weird impostor syndrome type reasons like "well, that's a job for other people, not me" and "I don't know how to do that, therefore I will never know how to do that" and "that's not a real job, it's a childish fantasy"
maybe it's just me fast approaching 30 combined with me now having a few years in software engineering under my belt, but it's getting increasingly hard to justify being at this job that I have absolutely zero interest in, doing work that feels completely inconsequential and putting nothing into the world that anyone will ever care about
for as long as I can remember, I've had ideas for games that I just toss directly into the brain trash the moment I think of them because I've taken it for granted that I will never make them. if I'm not working or podcasting, I'm playing video games. if I'm not playing video games I'm talking about video games. if I'm not talking about video games I'm thinking about video games. I literally dream in video games most nights. I have years of experience in C# already and it is frankly ridiculous at this point to keep pushing these thoughts aside
so there! that's off my chest. I've been going through the phaser.js tutorial on codecademy and I'll probably move onto unity after that. there are a few ideas off the top of my head that I've refused to let myself think seriously about and I'm going to see if I can flesh those out into anything real. watch this space
(also I feel like I should say, it's clear from watching psychodyssey, and from stuff you hear about the industry generally, that game development is by no means a perfect sunshine-and-roses dream job. and obviously double fine is a weird anomaly of a company in a lot of ways. I am aware of this and still want to do it lmao)
