hiii talking about kitwataei timeline its super long👇⬇️
we'd meet in the hospital while we're both pretty young and little vivian is a very angry emotional thing, and shed glare and grumble and snap at eichi if he tried to make any conversation + steal whatever books he had to keep him occupied but after a while shed try to awkwardly apologize and ask him to help her read since her grasp on japanese isnt all that great yet and he'd have to help her with pronunciation too i think. id get discharged not long after but id 100% keep coming back to visit him
i think hed also be my only friend since little vivian was a pretty isolated and weird kid and a little aggressive, but id always be gentler with eichi but not by much. probably at least once i invite him to my birthday party and hold his mouth open by force to make him take the first bite of cake and then sit back and smile all sweet asking him if its good. i do also think he'd help me with my homework and esp math, and we'd share almost everything with eachother...kicks a rock. i think me and keito would have a tense relationship as kids because im sort of possessive as eichi as my friend and whenever i see him i always refer to myself as eichis bestest friend with the most smug smile possible (i was an asshole little kid)
around like? 5th grade id grow more distant from eichi before telling him my family is moving to america and telling him he has to always send letters!!! but after a year or so i stop replying and hes left waiting hopelessly for my next letter but it never comes, and hes stuck rereading the ones i had sent before and committing them to memory.
during our time apart my own health would worsen and id become a bit of a shut-in with no idea how to make friends, and i stay like that up until i hear about the producer course in yumenosaki (tentatively + only the trial run) opening and i had remembered eichi telling me all about that school and how badly he wanted to go, and after much convincing my parents let me go back to japan and i rent the cheapest apartment i can + enroll in yumenosaki and im so relieved once i manage to pass the entrance exam, and even moreso when i see im not the only one. anzu and i would get along really well even despite my awkwardness and rusty japanese i think
i try to avoid eichi as much as i can because while i want to get close to him again im still not sure if he remembers me and if he does i dont want him to resent me either, and so id just rather not find out—but he surprises me during lunch and hes sososo excited to see me cue tearful hug from vivian and her saying she missed him. after that hed ask if i would produce for fine and im like Very unsure because i have no experience nor any idea of what to do but i tentatively agree because i dont want to grow apart from him again and hes my only friend and because of that i cling to him. id be so tense around the other members of fine and a little jumpy and id probably come off as a little stiff and overly terrified but wataru would know that theres more because if eichi holds me in such high regard then i cant be purely an anxious mess
as time goes on i realize i have feelings for eichi and i feel that all i can do is push that aside because i think that since hes already got a thing with wataru then i shouldnt even bother + in my head ive friendzoned myself for him and i end up focusing even more on my work as a producer and picking up as many after school jobs as possible to keep myself busy, but i only end up burning myself out and i slowly resent eichi more and more because i feel that he coddles me too much and that he sugarcoats things for me because while i am a little sensitive i want him to be fully honest and mean and strict if he feels like its needed, but hes never like that with me and it leads me to believe that he never took me seriously at all and that he must be keeping me around solely either for pity or entertainment, and i start getting scared about when he'll finally grow bored of me and tell me that im no longer needed
id probably collapse from overwork and eichi would scold me and id get mad at him and snap at him and tell him to leave me alone and id start avoiding him again, and when i have to talk to him i keep my answers short and ignore him if he tries to talk about anything unrelated to fines work. and i feel so so awful and horrible about it but im still so mad at him because i think hes still trying to do all of this out of pity and slowly i start gravitating towards producing for other units but i never actually do, because wataru steps in and asks me if im doing what i truly wish and i try to be mad at him too but the fact that he sees right through me scares me and while my first reply is to snap at him to back off i sit back and think and tell him that i feel pathetic next to eichi and that surely after we graduate eichi will have no need for me anymore and ill be left alone and useless again and wataru goes to say that i shouldnt be living solely for eichis purposes and that i shouldnt try to confine myself in such a small cage. <- i think after that wataru would get feelings for me too btw
id take a few sickdays out of yumenosaki while i mull over watarus words in my brain and while eichi tries calling and texting i never answer (i dont answer anyone who calls or texts though) and i shut myself in my room, only going to the part time jobs ive picked up so i have enough money to keep renting my apartment
once i return i reluctant meet with eichi in the stuco room and tell him that i dont think im capable to be fines producer anymore and that once again ill be going to america and he pleads with me to stay and that i cant leave him again and i cant stop myself from getting a little mad and telling him to stop acting like im any help for fine and that its obvious from the way he babies and coddles me whenever i try to do anything and he interrupts me and tells me not to get upset that hes trying to treasure me and those words shock me because i genuinely thought i meant nothing to him and i try to stay mad but alas . girl who cries when shes angry ends up crying too much to reply and eichi would want to hold me and comfort me but i keep a good bit of distance between us until ive calmed down enough to say that its impossible ive been doing such a good job and that compared to him im no one and no one remembers my name im just "fine's producer" or "the boy always with eichi" and i tell him i want to break away from fine still and be an idol instead so i can try to outshine him and prove that im just as good as he is and hed ask if i want to join fine as an idol since hed still prefer to keep me close and id instantly say yes <- i should also mention that during that time ive been paying for dance and voice lessons and ive never told eichi about it because i was embarrassed to admit that i was daydreaming about being on stage with the rest of fine as well
id officially debut as an idol and new addition to fine after graduation too i think and while eichi would try to confess id get scared about what wataru would think and id cut him off and tell him that we're really the best of friends and that im glad he and wataru are so happy together and id once again put myself behind them. i think wataru would give me one of his masks too as his own way of confessing and giving himself to me and while i wouldnt understand id still treasure it
eichi would also demand that i at least move somewhere more fitting for an idol and id get a little confused and say that my apartment is just fine and hed offer to let me move in with him and before i can stop myself id instantly agree and then be like Oh but only if its ok ..! Ill try to find a new place soon so i get out of your hair lol youve done enough for me ^^;... and i think eichi would get frustrated and tell me hes in love with me and to stop tossing myself aside and that ive only been making him feel more and more distanced from me and itd hit me hard because i thought i was being respectful and a good friend and i dont know how to reply to him and hed also say that watarus in love with me too and theyd talked about telling me but it seemed like i was being purposely oblivious
i wouldnt know what to say id just be silent and holding my breath so i dont start crying again but eichi would pull me close and plead with me to tell him if i return their feelings or not and even if it was obvious that i do he still wants to hear me confirm it
after i end up moving in with him he tells me about alkaloid and i grow especially fond of aira because i see myself in him and eichi is pleasantly surprised to see me so much more passionate about idols suddenly because while i was a little passionate before it was secondhand stuff from him and id ask him to talk about it even more
i think id be airas favorite too btw since in my mind me and tori would be the "cupids" of fine since were both the smallest and cutest members and aira would love the (polite version) of silly cheerfulness i always address fans with and i think in private/away from media eyes im a lot more mischievous and rough especially with eichi and it would blow his mind to see the rumors confirmed about me and eichi dating and once he hears that wataru is involved too he'd be so @_@ 💀
stuff up along touch of feather story is all i really have planned out i think. ill probably add more small things here and there but this is all the super important kitwataei stuff ☝️⬆️