hi just general kitwataei stuff thats a constant theme im a little embarrassed about posting it. spinning around and shooting myself
Kisses with Eichi were always so terrifying, almost like he'd swallow her whole—pulling Vivian as close as he could and eating any noises that she would make. It was like he was insatiable, wanting more and more—like he was always hungry for her.
It was scary, to be loved so deeply that she didn't know what to do. He never seemed to struggle with expressing everything he felt for her, but Vivian—she didn't know what to do with the love he gave. Eichi smothered her with it, gentle smiles and gentle words, and all the while he was so selfish with her.
He wanted everything that she was, and it terrified her.
Wataru's love was less daunting, yet under his knowing gaze Vivian felt stripped bare. It was like he could see right into her heart, and he often soothed it with kisses that were as light as feathers, peppered all over her face as he held her face—enough until she was giggling, and once his lips finally met hers, Vivian was scared once again.
Maybe it was that they both could see right into her heart? Or perhaps it was that she was scared of being fully vulnerable, and despite their understanding—of her, of her worries and fears, of her entire character—she still refused to share herself for long.
After all, the both of them were so much more than she could ever be. No matter how far she reached, Vivian knew she could never touch them.
They loved her, and Vivian didn't know how to return it.