• bit/byte/bytes

Wish it had worked out lol


problemnyatic
@problemnyatic

wondering if I have managed to speedrun getting excised from the cohost community by being my outspoken self in a couple discourses thus getting blocked/silenced by everyone very quickly. Or maybe i'm just bad at posting, or cohost is ever the worst at discoverability. No way to know for sure, but. I do still wonder.


problemnyatic
@problemnyatic

maybe im projecting, maybe i have just been a little pigheaded in the discourses, maybe negativity bias has me by the balls. But idk. It seems cohost's got this strong undertone of everyone just wants this to be the good website. They don't want any bullshit. And it leads to not wanting their viewpoints challenged in any way that isn't velvet-gloved. Even mild annoyances get blocked fast and it just feels kind of. Well, it feels like the seattle chill. Go figure.


problemnyatic
@problemnyatic

it just feels like you only get One Chance to make an impression on any given user that will not have you shitcanned out the gate. It makes me anxious as fuck and more inclined to recluse until something spurrs me to action, which winds up being discourse. So it becomes this vicious cycle that's made worse by the fact that I already feel like I'm just, Not The Kind Of Poster cohost gives a fuck about, and I have no real drive to become that, because why the fuck would I? I have more important things to do than sell myself to Seattle, The Website.

But at the same time, it fuckin. hurts. right? Because I feel excluded, I see a lot of people enjoying themselves and each other and I just feel like I can't be a part of it, I'll fuck up, I'll fail to mesh with the humor or the ~vibe~ and I'll lose my welcome if I'm not performing Being Like Everyone Else Here. idk. Maybe it's just the trauma from being violently ejected from damn near every other online community I've ever been in. But it feels like slightly more than that


problemnyatic
@problemnyatic

I'm sure the fact that all my original posts in the last few months have been me bemoaning this that or the other thing is not helping my Brand much.


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in reply to @problemnyatic's post:

this has all bee mostly my experience, too, fwiw. i have bigger reach since i imported some following from twitter when i joined, but yeah

there's a post i screenshot for my private from one of the bigger posters here (hi biggs, it's you) that amounted to "any time you're a weird little freak here, we screenshot it and share it with all our friends"; really makes you feel welcome here

it's frustrating. if you point out obvious issues, you're either ignored or mocked. sometimes to your face, often not. "here comes 18 new shitheads all demanding to change how the site fundamentally works", one says. (paraphrased.)

how can you feel welcome in a place where nobody can actually talk to you? how can you find anything when everything is deliberately hidden?

I've been on all kinds of social media and websites with communities and cohost is the cattiest by far. Maybe it'll be more useable and less shit when it has more features that make it feel less like a void with naught but the echoed sneering of Chosters who cant believe people who got here two whole days ago don't "get it" and niche essays about hyperfixations that follow a narrow bandwidth of types of hobby.

it feels like people only comment on Some Thing in a separate post after seeing a few posts saying that thing. But they're all saying different things about the topic, even if it is to similar ends. But then it's all flattened, and anyone with an opinion even vaguely in the ballpark of whatever The Choster is vaguing about feels stupid and mocked. Idk. I think there's too many peoole here who are far too willing to get mean-spirited over shit that doesn't actually warrant or benefit from it, and way too quickly.

it's extremely cliquey, but that's what you get when you have a really insular "seed" that aggressively tries to maintain the culture and harshly punishes deviation

i agree 200% with the second paragraph, more or less "vagueposting", or what you would call "subtweeting" on twitter; literally just being vague about what you're talking about. people will get mad if you reply to them (how dare you not know they weren't looking for discussion or expecting them to disable shares), if you quote them without linking, or if you just talk about them at all. so the only solution is to never explicitly talk about anyone, thus casting an aura of deniability over yourself and simultaneously implicating everyone else.

i actually had this happen w/ a friend of mine where i vagueposted about the coyote pillowfort shit, and they got mad at me. i had to go back and grab a screenshot of the other perosn's post i was referring to and some context around it in a conversation to show that, no, man, i really wasnt tryin to vaguepost you, and thats why i fuckin hate vagueposting! it's extremely easy to target people you don't intend to. literal fuckin friendly fire.

using it explicitly for negative purposes... vagueposting also lets you share laughs with your buddies who are "in" on what you're talking about. it's like speaking another language to insult someone nearby in hopes they won't understand what you're saying.

to say nothing of the kind of outright hostility shown by such stalwart members of the cohost community:

really makes you feel good here, huh.