kelly or kiva | angelgender femby | microtonal creature | farming sim enjoyer | runs @FakeGenreBot | outdoorsrabbit | moon liker 🌕


it's wild how sharply my tolerance for scary, violent or gross-out movies has decreased over the decade that i've been out

in grad school i was fascinated by horror movies, read academic publications on them in my free time, and chose to do presentations on them in class. (i still think they're academically fascinating, but i can't watch them)

now i feel a lil upset seeing even mild blood on the tv, and i have to leave the room at christmastime for certain parts of die hard. paul verhoeven movies are, unsurprisingly, just a flat-out no-go

i'm not sure what happened, but if i had to guess, i'd say that estrogen, transition in general, and greater self-discovery as i've gotten older have put me more directly in touch with high levels of sensitivity that i didn't feel able to express and therefore suppressed before i came out


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in reply to @purrgesterone's post:

In just the year and some change I’ve been on femme HRT I’ve noticed something similar. Things feel “more real” now even when they aren’t real at all, harder not to think and feel through what you’re seeing. It’s good changes I think :3!

I don't know if it was the hrt or just unpacking my trauma and not suppressing my emotional responses to things anymore, but I came to a similar conclusion while watching Hannibal with my partner at the time. The show started giving me nightmares when before, something made for prime time audiences on NBC wouldn't have made me bat an eye