sorry for a long one talking about work, i totally understand if u just scroll right by, i had a rough day and really just needed to express some feelings.
i think the overarching thing that makes me hate my job is that i got into working in health care because if i need to do labor to survive i want to do something that directly helps people and has a net benefit to the world but the wonderful company i work for (and tbh this industry as a whole in america) does not give a shit about either of those things because they have their eyes set on making as much money as possible and literally anything else positive they do is a side effect.
i live for knowing my patients and genuinely caring about their well being. i've nearly cried several times when people told me they love getting to work with me. like there's always some shitty patients i still occasionally have to deal with, but there's a lot more times where there's just people who are so damn appreciative of my work even though to me it feels trivial. having dealt with pretty bad anxiety for most of my life with a shit load of self doubt and feeling like a useless failure being able to do something where people respond like this really makes me feel like i'm doing things right and what i'm doing matters.
and it just feels like week after week the company is making more and more decisions that make it harder to feel like that. every day the positive vibes of working with people just fading further and further as the company chases the bag leaving it's workers and patients in the dust. pissed patients and coworkers becoming further jaded by the awful conditions and lack of respect from our corporate overlords.
in may corporate dropped us to to just 5 days per week but not adjusting the actual work load whatsoever so we're doing 7 days of work in 5 days with the same amount of labor on those days. around the same time they ended up deciding that retail pharmacy isn't profitable enough so we're now a pseudo-mail order pharmacy. where if you drop off a script for a name brand med that you need same day ur shit out of luck. this multibillion dollar company isn't willing to keep name brand epipens and insulin on hand because uh too pricy to give 20 stores 2 boxes of meds instead of keeping 5 boxes total and maybe shipping it out next day as needed. also this means if you drop off on a friday for a like a name brand seizure medication that you are completely out of, i really hope you can make it through the weekend because we aren't open and no longer have ANY on hand and monday is the absolute soonest we'll get it (this has happened at least four fucking times now that i have personally had to handle and it makes me wanna bring out that thing where they stick your head in a plank of wood in the town square but for the ceo and the entire board to be publicly ridiculed). and then just today, 2 weeks before the start of flu season which is when we're at our peak, apparently corporate is now deciding to drop hours to 11 per day for the 5 days and have one of the two pharmacists float at other locations instead of working at this pharmacy, meaning yet again, same amount of labor to be done, and even less time to do it in with less people to do it.
it's just overwhelmingly frustrating. i love the work i do, i love my patients, i love my coworkers and this company is so determined to make every other moment of my time on the clock as miserable as possible so long as it makes them more money. capitalism is the bane of my existence.