Sleep time: ~4 am
Wake time: 10:30am
Goal bedtime: ~6am
When I told my manager I'd be staying up until 6 tonight, he laughed and said he regularly wakes up at 5.
Current time: 4:15 am. And I was doin pretty good until like 2:30, but now, hooooo buddy, I am sleepy (so forgive me if this is a little rambly).
It's so weird. Basically my entire life I've had this ambient anxiety about going to bed "on time." I wouldn't have said so last week, but now that my whole week is oriented around staying up late, I can tell that the ambient anxiety is gone. It's really nice. Even if I am so VERY tired right now.
My whole life has been waking up as late as possible before the start of work or school. This week, my schedule is much more nebulous. I can actually take my time waking up and getting ready before logging in. I mean, I've already blown way past standup**, so what's the rush? And let me just say: you guys get to do this every day?? It's amazing. Gone is the additional ambient anxiety about getting to work on time.
Of course, half my coworkers clock in at like 7 am. So by the time I finally rolled in today, my DMs were thoroughly trashed. It's gonna be even worse tomorrow. Help 😂
"Tomorrow." Ha. It's already tomorrow!
Tonight after work I finished that audiobook (see previous post), mailed out my patreon zines***, watched a bunch of the Frost Fatales GDQ marathon, won two runs of Dicey Dungeons, started a perler piece... I can't stress enough how much more this is than usual. Usually my weeknights are pretty worthless. Part of it for sure is trying to keep moving so that I can stay up late enough, but the other part of it is organic.
My sleep quality has been pretty good these past two nights, too. Average to above average. It's given me an epiphany that's obvious in hindsight: there's no reason for me to get in bed at 11. It doesn't work. I still don't fall asleep until 1. Every night I get in bed at 11 and don't fall asleep ill 1. Why do I keep doing it? Why do I think "ah, TONIGHT will be the night I fall asleep early!" After this week, I will experiment with not getting in bed until I'm actually tired.
I've been eating better, too, because I haven't been as tired. Oh I'm tired as heck right NOW, but during the day, it's actually been better than usual. Even if I could only manage 6.5 hours of sleep last night. (Of all the winter days Portland could pick to be sunny, it had to choose RIGHT NOW?)
I do fully expect things to get worse again shortly, as my schedule is rapidly going to shift out of my ideal zone into pure nonsense. But hey, I'll take what I can get.
Ok, it's 4:35 now. Thank you for helping me kill 20 minutes. ...gosh I hope this is coherent.
** 9:30 am. This is early for tech, right? At my last job, standup was at 11.
*** Have I mentioned that I have a patreon? And my supporters get my monthly updates in the form of physical zines? You could be one of them, just sayin.
