qristy

Crossing my fingers for the inevitable Chrono-Death of the Universe

lmaooooo

banger post OP

here it is

Our next-generation product can raise the accuracy of the stopped clock to nearly once an hour, and all it requires is a passenger jet with mid-air refueling capabilities and intricate coordination with airports around the globe. It's a very exciting investment opportunity. Imagine all the ways this clock could solve problems like hunger or global warming once it's widely available!

We've removed that pesky needing-to-know-how-to-read-clocks part of telling time, expanding the time-telling ability to those who lack the experience or time to dedicate to learning how. For those individuals (in the right situation), it is perfectly accurate!

The "two or more times per day" part killed me.

This is so good, thank you.

Mine was only accurate once on a recent Sunday you can't even hit your goal of two times reliably.

With only a five percent error tolerance, this clock is accurate 12 times per day.