I wrote a giant rant/PSA about porn/sex and attitudes about it:
Eternally listening to midwest emo
- he/they
Queer Adult | POC | Anarchist | Gay Vampire |
They call me a "writer", I guess. Sure.
Multi-Fandom Enjoyer. I have succumbed to the 'tism.
Live fast, die young, punch fascists.
If you see me posting at 2AM when I should be asleep, no you didn't.
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in reply to @amorphophalex's post:
i never had any trouble accepting that "porn is not real-life sex", but to me that always meant "real-life sex is about connection, not about smashing genitals together like porn advertises"
what i missed is that having long conversations about what you do/don't like/want isn't weird or awkward or some weird thing that mostly happens when you've got a weak connection with your partner, it's what should happen.
hookup culture doesn't help
No one consents to being shot in a movie, either. But what the fuck are we talking about here, it's all made up.
in a sad turn of events I now see these kinds of people complain about violence too (or just anything that isn't happy rainbow sunshine). Possibly related but US republicans have also started using "violent content" a lot more often to ban books in schools. I feel like it isn't a coincidence. I tried using the telephone metaphor instead but who knows; maybe they'll start demanding people say "goodbye" before dramatically slamming the phone down because otherwise it's teaching bad manners?? lol
I remember when people online used to say "PLEASE do not get your sex ed from fanfiction, go to scarleteen.com for that instead." Brings back memories lol
I've always appreciated your stance on sexual content etc. (I'm not sure how to word it) so this was a good read! thank you for writing it
next you're going to tell me that it's impossible to survive explosions and fire two assault rifles at once
That last Q&A is one that’s been on my mind for a long while. Reading this page, it’s been refreshing to see how much I agreed with every response, and especially this one.
I hold the position that just because something is porn doesn’t give it carte blanche to spread racist, queerphobic, etc. ideals. If we wouldn’t tolerate that from SFW media, porn shouldn’t be exempt from doing better too. Yes, it doesn’t have to be realistic, nobody’s going to walk up to a fantasy book and demand they delete the dragons, there are genres and conventions that have been accepted in porn where it would be weird to crusade against, but on the flip side it literally cannot ever hurt to write a porn story where an extensive pre-sex conversation about consent is shown on page, if that’s what you wanna write. Taking porn genres that historically have had a conservative streak and going “fine, I’ll do it radical, I’ll make the ‘victim’ happy, I’ll flip the humiliation on its head!” has been some of my favorite stuff :)
yeah like 10 years ago I was basically on a crusade to depict cute lovey-dovey porn with consent establishment and everything, and so were a lot of women/lgbt-made pornographers, and I still do this 99% of the time. But I don't want my morals to be twisted and turned into a censorship weapon by MasterCard or evangelical fundies.