it's time to think about gender again
i haven't really discussed it much with anyone, but i have been using they/them for myself lately and introducing myself to new people as nb... and i think it's a good fit for me!
i think that i clung to the idea of being a woman for a few reasons... when i even began to think critically about gender, most of my friends were trans women or people who would become trans women, and seeing that their experiences were similar to what i was feeling, i threw myself into that category as well. but over time i felt the label working less and less for me. i definitely enjoy hrt and the effects it has on my psyche and body, so i wouldn't change any of that stuff.
a realization i had somewhat recently is that i don't actually think of myself in any gendered terms and i can't remember EVER having done so before i started thinking about transitioning- and i think a lot of that was like, "these other people's experiences are like mine, therefore i must be like them in this way". i think with being trans there's always a certain feeling of "forcing it" or "faking it 'til you make it" but it's been feeling REALLY forced and fake to me
i think by freeing myself from that, there's not as much pressure for me to look or act or behave in any certain way even if all of that is fuckin fake anyways. im just a guy (gender neutral)
im not gonna get mad if you use "she" for me but consider updating the register in your brain.......
