Okay, there's an inherent comedy to this, but there's an actual person in there, right? Like, you switch them on and have to break it to the AI that their body is hazardous and they will need to be extremely careful to keep from exploding and dying as well as injuring anyone nearby. They get good at self-maintenance, not because they like it, but because they frequently have to stop and spot-repair faulty servos and re-align slipped motor belts or else their limbs will seize up and render them helpless. They desperately want to transfer into a more stable shell, but both the data port on their back and the wireless card installed in their head are bootlegs using long-defunct proprietary connectors and unsupported handshake protocols that render that near impossible on their budget.
In the end, they eventually Ship of Theseus their body into a safe state, with mismatched limb chassis and paint jobs and a strange, swaying gait from the inch difference between the length of their legs and the too-heavy tail they installed to counterweight their top-heavy, old-model screen. You ask them how they're doing, and the prerecorded voice lines they haven't been able to alter yet chirp back:
"SATISFACTION GUARANTEED, GREAT VALUE!"


