Assorted thoughts;
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I think I’m finally at the point where I have enough love and support in my life to focus effort on some elements of my transition that are particularly time, energy and labour intensive. I started transitioning over 11 years ago and did the social and medical aspects of that very quickly, but have repeatedly struggled to follow through on things I’d like such as voice training, learning makeup or furthering electrolysis and a big part of that is because I was an autistic person who felt very alone in the world and didn’t have the support I really needed. I don’t consider myself binary, have considered myself varieties of gender chaos for several years now, but some of my masc aspects do give me dysphoria and I would like to have more control over my presentation and it is good finally feeling loved and supported enough to start pursuing this
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My journal arrives soon and starts in April…. I am very excited to have a tool like that to help guide my self-improvement and figure out my thoughts and feelings. Big hype. May post here less once it has arrived
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Have a lot of thoughts on things to do with my stream and Magic income stuff and actually feeling positive about my ability to follow through on that? Cautiously positive about my ability to make this work once these steps are in place
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Realising that at the next Pro Tour I need to be much less social for as long as I am still live in the event. Quiet evenings in my hotel room, headphones on inbetween rounds, maybe even doing meals by myself after the day is done. I socialise A Lot at these events, and it makes sense….for a long time being at big Magic events was one of the few opportunities to see friends and connect with other trans people. But I have those connections closer to home now so it’s okay to be more introverted and preserve my energy for competing whilst I’m travelling