i need your weakest potions. i am NEVER going into battle

Eyoo, I'm an Australian in my mid 20's. Cripqueer, neurofuck, artist of many forms. I make dice and jewlery and little crocheted/sculpted guys (check my link). I've got two cats, and if you ask me nicely enough I might even show you pictures of 'em.
i need your weakest potions. i am NEVER going into battle
Even my weakest potion would give a dragon a tummy ache, let alone a man
fyi Family Copper and Dollar Treant have those single hp shooters near the impulse bins
The weakest potion that still qualifies as a potion is ginger ale, I think