if god and my mother didnt want me to pluck my eyelashes then it wouldnt feel so damn good to finally get the one with the irritated follicle

adderall being considered a controlled substance is hilarious like "that guy is focused and capable of doing tasks, get his ass"

sidenote: ill break my foot off in ronald reagan's ass

Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.

― Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

⚠️ ATTENTION⚠️
you🫵🫵 may never🚫know🤔when⏰️⏰️you might come🫢💦across🚸

🦞🦞 A LOBSTER 🦞🦞

a great many things are uncertain in this lifetime.