Read VALLONO ‡

I'm gonna be real here, I am not looking forward to tomorrow. It's gonna be some people going "AMERICA FUCK YEAH" both ironically and unironically and people going "America is the fucking worst" both ironically and unironically and both will be worse than the other guy.

Look, here's the thing, I love my country, but not like one of the flag waving simps. I'm more in the parental love category. I know America is capable of better, I know it's fucked up, yes I am chonically dissappointed in their life style choices and America hangs with. I want what's best for America, but America has become such a pissy little shit in the past few decades. Ever since "Uncle Reagan" showed up that one time in a windowless van, America has been hanging with continually worse people and getting into worse lifestyles. Hey, guess what's worse than that though, bitch about it WITH ABSOLUTELY NO REAL PLANS OTHERWISE. Here I am suggesting America get its GED and get a job, or at least take that class at the community college and what are all the other supposed critics doing? Oh right, shouting things like "CrInGe WoKe MaRvEl HuMoR" at every little thing in every little area of every possible place.

Guys, what the fuck? What the absolute fuck? What the mind numbing, braincell killing, French fuck? If you're not helping, you're kind of part of the problem because America is in that mindspace where all criticism is blind and useless, and your criticism being blind and useless is only driving it to further extremes.

I have become annoyed in equal measures by both patriotism and anti-patriotism. Do better than the other guy before you criticize them.

holy shit please watch this it's so fucking cool and so bafflingly high effort

turn off racism