I feel like living in a cuckoo clock would probably be the bird equivalent of living in a haunted house. Fancy presentation, functional insides. Antiquated designs. Facsimile of a bird occasionally springs out and jumpscares you. Fun stuff.

(cat is not mine, stolen from google images like the dirty thief i am)

I just think that's neat. Look at all em dogs.

_{MANY WILL ENTER, FEW WILL WIN . NO PURCHASE OR PAYMENT NECESSARY . A PURCHASE OF ANY KIND WILL NOT INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING . 1. Eligibility: Only legal residents of the 50 United States and the District of Columbia who are one (1) year of age or older at the time of entry are eligible to enter the Birthday Coloring Sweepstakes (“Sweepstakes”). Entrants who are under the age of majority in their state of residency at time of entry must have the permission of a parent or legal guardian (“Parent/Guardian”) to participate in the Sweepstakes. Entry information provided by children under age thirteen (13) will be used solely to administer the promotion and will be destroyed on the conclusion of the Sweepstakes. Void where prohibited and subject to all applicable laws and regulations. Sponsor(s) (as defined below), Sponsor’(s) parent, subsidiary and affiliate entities and their respective officers, directors, agents, and employees, as well as the immediate family (spouse, parents, siblings and children) and household members (whether or not related) of each such Cohost, and each of their respective parents, affiliates, subsidiaries and advertising and promotion agencies are not eligible to enter or win. Entrants must fulfill all requirements set forth in the Official Rules and abide by all decisions of the Sponsor(s) and/or Administrator in order to be eligible for a prize. 2. How to Enter: ENTRY BOX: Eligible individuals may enter the Sweepstakes by completing a coloring sheet and an entry form provided by username @MayaGay by asking her nicely or really calling her bluff on these terms and conditions and submitting it into the Sweepstakes box. By completing an entry form you represent that you have complied with the submission guidelines and content restrictions as specified in the Official Rules. Entries are limited to one per person. All entries will be deemed to have been made by the authorized account holder for the submitted email address. Submitting mass entries or entries generated by a script, macro or use of automated devices is prohibited and may result in disqualification. False or deceptive entries or acts, as determined by Sponsor(s), will render the entrant ineligible. All entries become the exclusive property of Sponsor(s), and none will be acknowledged or returned. Sponsor(s) assumes no responsibility for lost, late or misdirected entries or for human error or technical malfunctions that may occur. Must be present to win. Entry Period: The Sweepstakes Period begins on Wednesday 3rd, 2023 at 5:30PM Eastern Standard Time (“EST”) and ends whenever I am out of hot dogs. Entries received after the entry submission deadline or outside the Sweepstakes Period are void. All entries must be received by Sponsor(s) on or before Entry Submission Deadline as determined by Sponsor’(s) clock. This Sweepstakes is in no way sponsored, endorsed, administered by, or associated with Cohost. By entering, you understand that you are providing your information to Sponsor(s) and not Cohost. 3. Odds of Winning: Odds of winning are pretty bleak, to be honest. The winner will be chosen completely at the discretion of username @MayaGay, and she straight up will probably not give the hot dogs to anybody. For one thing, she wants to eat the hot dogs. Eligible individuals may only win one time during the Sweepstakes Period. 4. Winner Notification/Requirements: Each potential Prize winner will be notified by the sounds of the wind when you stop talking and start listening. Any potential Prize winner may be required to sign and return to Sponsor(s), on the date notice or attempted notice is sent, an Affidavit of Eligibility, General Release & Waiver, and Publicity Release in the form or forms provided by Sponsor(s) (where and to the extent legally permissible) in order to claim the Prize. A Prize must be claimed in person in username @MayaGay's apartment or the Prize will be forfeited. Must be present to win. If a potential Prize winner cannot be contacted or fails to sign and return the applicable Affidavit of Eligibility, General Release & Waiver, and/or Publicity Release within the required time period noted above, the potential Prize winner will be disqualified and forfeits the Prize. Ha ha. If not disqualified, the potential Prize winner must continue to comply with all terms and conditions of these Official Rules. Winning and awarding of the Prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements. This includes a night in my uncle's haunted manor, with three mysterious strangers who all have their own motivations...and possibly murderous intent. Failure to comply with these requirements, return of Prize notification or Prize as undeliverable, or disqualification of any potential winner for any reason may result in forfeiture of Prize, and the Sponsor(s) will select an alternate winner. If, after selection of three (3) consecutive alternate potential winners, no alternate winner qualifies to receive the Prize, then I'm just gonna have to eat those fucking hot dogs. If any potential Prize winner is a minor in his/her state of residence, as a condition to receipt of a Prize, the minor’s Parent/Guardian must sign and timely submit the required Affidavit of Eligibility, General Release & Waiver and, where permitted by law, Publicity Release on behalf of the minor, and the Parent/Guardian shall also sign the General Release & Waiver and be personally legally bound by such General Release & Waiver. In Sponsor’(s) sole discretion, the Prize may be awarded to the minor’s Parent/Guardian rather than the minor, which Parent/Guardian shall then sign all required documents and assume all the responsibilities of the Prize winner. They still gotta spend the night in the haunted manor too. Sorry kids. 5. Prize(s) and Donor(s): Grand Prize (1): One (1) grand prize winner will receive a Hot Dog. Total Approximate Retail Value (“ARV”) of the Grand Prize: well it was $3.99 with a two for one sale, so divide that by 16 and there you go. First Prize (1): One (1) first prize winner will receive a Hot Dog. Total Approximate Retail Value (“ARV”) of the Grand Prize: aw geez, more math. Well I guess take the number above and subtract that from $3.99 cause obviously the grand prize winner has one of those hot dogs already, then divide all that by 15. I think that makes sense. Prize is non- transferable and not redeemable for cash, and no substitution will be made unless Sponsor(s), in its sole discretion, determines otherwise. Sponsor(s) reserves the right to substitute a Prize for one of equal or greater value, including cash, in Sponsor’(s) sole discretion, if a Prize should become unavailable for any reason. But that ain't happening, cause once I am outta dogs then that's the end of this shit. Winner is solely responsible for reporting and paying any and all applicable federal, state and local taxes, and for any and all other costs, assessments, expenses, and fees associated with Prize award, receipt and use. If a Prize allows the winner to share the Prize with guests, Sponsor(s) may require each of the winner’s guests to sign and return a General Release & Waiver and Publicity Release, as a condition for use of any component of the Prize. So if you're having a weird hot dog sharing party sign the release and leave me the hell out of it. If a guest is a minor in his/her state of residency, the minor’s parent or legal guardian must verify and confirm his/her agreement to the General Release & Waiver and Publicity Release in order to participate in the use of any component of the Prize. Advance reservations are required and dates are subject to availability. 6. Release/Publicity Consent: As a condition to receipt of a Prize, winner agrees to sign a General Release & Waiver releasing Sponsor(s) and its parent, affiliate, subsidiary entities, its merchants, and their respective agents, employees, suppliers, and advertising/promotional and judging agencies (the “Sponsor Group”) Cohost, and each of their respective parents, affiliates, subsidiaries, from any and all liability whatsoever for injuries, damages or losses to persons and/or property which may be sustained in connection with the Sweepstakes or the Prize. You seen that I Think You Should Leave sketch where he is eating the hot dog in the meeting and starts choking? That's on YOU! That is NOT ON ME! I am SHARING my hot dogs, I am NOT teaching you how to freaking eat one. If a Prize winner is a minor in his/her state of residence, the Prize may be awarded in the name of the parent or legal guardian, in the sole discretion of Sponsor(s), and such Parent/Guardian will be required to fulfill all eligibility and other requirements necessary, as determined by Sponsor(s), to claim the Prize. As a condition to receipt of any Prize, winners (or their Parent/Guardian in the case of minors) may be required to sign affidavits/disclaimers and tax forms, and winners (or Parent/Guardian in the case of minors) are responsible for any and all costs, taxes, assessments, expenses, and fees associated with the Sweepstakes and Prize award, receipt and use. Except where prohibited by law, winners consent and agree to the use of their names, city and state/country, photographs, likeness, submission(s), statements, video, and voices for broadcast, marketing and promotional purposes in all forms of media (including, without limitation, online) on a worldwide basis by Sponsor(s) and its promotional agencies, Sweepstakes partners, designees, successors and assigns, before, during and after the Sweepstakes, without compensation or right of review, attribution, or notice, in perpetuity. You're gonna be the free face of hot dogs, kids. Winner(s) (or their Parent/Guardian in the case of minors) may be required by Sponsor(s) to sign a Publicity Release (where not prohibited by law) regarding such consent as a condition to receipt of a Prize. 7. Agreement to Official Rules: By participating in the Sweepstakes, entrant fully and unconditionally agrees to and accepts these Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor(s) and/or Administrator (including but not limited to decisions regarding eligibility of entries, the selection of entrants and winners, and the awarding of prizes), which are final and binding in all matters related to the Sweepstakes. Sponsor(s) reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to terminate, modify or suspend the Sweepstakes if, in Sponsor’(s) opinion, there is any suspected or actual evidence of fraud, tampering, unauthorized intervention, technical difficulties or failures, or any other factor beyond Sponsor’(s) reasonable control that may affect the administration, security, fairness or integrity, or proper conduct of the Sweepstakes. Sponsor’(s) failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that term or any other term in these Official Rules. I don't have to do shit but you still need to act to accordance to these rules. I did my research, now you do yours. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of these rules shall not affect the validity or enforceability of any other provision. In the event that any provision is determined to be invalid or otherwise unenforceable or illegal, these Official Rules shall otherwise remain in effect and shall be construed in accordance with their terms as if the invalid or unenforceable provision were eliminated from the rules. Christ, I don't even know what that means. 8. General Conditions: Sponsor(s) reserves the right to cancel, suspend and/or modify the Sweepstakes, or any part of it, if any fraud, technical failure, computer virus, tampering, unauthorized intervention, or any other factor beyond Sponsor’(s) control impairs the integrity or proper functioning of the Sweepstakes, as determined by Sponsor(s) in its sole discretion. I have been researching hot dog fraud on the dark web, and Sponsor(s) is very nervous about botnets manipulating the data to get hot dogs. But who can blame them, this shit is expensive these days. Why do you think Sponsor(s) were so excited by the two for one thing? In the event there is more than one Sponsor and the Sponsor(s) are in disagreement over a modification, suspension, or termination of the Sweepstakes, then the Ancient Hall of Hot Dog Goddesses shall have the final decision with respect to any modification, suspension, or termination of the Sweepstakes. Sponsor(s), in its sole discretion, reserves the right to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Sweepstakes or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or acting in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner, so knock it off Joey Chestnut. Any attempt by any person to deliberately undermine the legitimate operation of the Sweepstakes may be a violation of criminal and/or civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, Sponsor(s) reserves the right to prosecute and/or seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. Sponsor’(s) failure to enforce any provision of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. Sponsor(s) is not responsible for incomplete, illegible, misdirected, misprinted, late, or lost entries, submissions or Prize notifications; or for lost, interrupted, inaccessible or unavailable networks, servers, satellites, Internet service providers, websites, or other connections; or if somebody flushes the toilet while you're in the shower, so the water gets piping hot, so you jump out of the shower and barrel right into the shower curtain, tumbling down and out the bathroom like a bolder in an Indiana Jones movie, and in the process fall down the stairs and out the front door, naked as a jaybird, and the whole neighborhood starts laughing and pointing at you. No mechanically reproduced, illegible, incomplete, forged, software-generated or otherwise multiple entries will be accepted. If any dispute regarding identity of any winner cannot be resolved to Sponsor’(s) satisfaction, that entrant/potential winner will be disqualified. 9. Disputes: Don't like it? Hit da bricks. 10. Governing Law: The Sweepstakes is governed by the laws of the State of Freedonia, without regard to any choice of law provisions. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, or the rights and obligations of the entrant and Sponsor(s) in connection with the Sweepstakes and/or any Prize, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the State of Freedonia without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the State of Freedonia or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the State of Freedonia. 11. Entrant's Personal Information: All personal information collected from entrant is MINE. 12. Sponsor(s) and Administrator: The Sweepstakes is sponsored and administered by, I don't know, a friendly deer in the glade by the pond. 13. Winners List/Official Rules: For a complete list of winners and/or copies of the Official Sweepstakes Rules, get bent.}

Finally starting on next year's calendar.