This is an 80s action movie with all the trappings. In lieu of a thoughtful review of something that's exactly what you'd think, I'll just list some miscellaneous thoughts:

* The plot of this movie really hinges heavily on Matrix not getting shot in situations in which he very easily could get shot.

* I cannot fucking believe they had him say "I'll be back". Absolutely next-level cheesiness in a film stuffed to bursting with cheesy one-liners.

* Cindy taking time away from avoiding crossfire in a gunfight to quip sarcastically about how macho the two men feels agonizingly like a nudge-nudge-wink to the women the film expects to be dragged to it by their boyfriends.

* As does the one lingering shot of Schwarzenegger's rippling muscles as he rows the boat away from the airplane. Honestly surprised there weren't more of those.

* James Horner's score goes crazy here. Consistently my favorite part of every scene.

* This girl just watched her father kill a man and she's as chipper as can be. Kinda fucked up.

* Honestly surprised I haven't seen Rae Dawn Chong in anything else, she's the only person keeping the whole thing from being a complete cartoon.

* I hate that I'm nostalgic for malls now.