How have they not made a PokΓ©mon based off you yet (pretty sure they haven't, at any rate). Anyway, we're nearing the end of our tour of Australia, and it's time to broach the subject of this weird but wonderful creature.
Part duck and part beaver, you lay eggs and you're venomous (watch out for those spurs on the back feet), you certainly have a lot going on for you and that's great! I'm sure you can do it all
Not much about you makes sense. Like pandas, you are very particular about the food you eat (but it is a little bit more than just eucalyptus leaves). You're prone to chlamydia and you sleep all day. On the surface, you seem boring.
But you're an important part of Australian identity and even moreso important to indigenous cultures, appearing in the Dreamtime as a figure of great wisdom. For that, I think you deserve commendation.
You wear it humbly though. Good on ya!
Get the fuck outta here, you voracious pest.
Well, I guess it's not necessarily your fault. You're just doing cane toad things. Humans are to blame for introducing you to the ecosystem as pest control. When has that ever worked?
Well, for the sake of the Outback, please relocate to a biome that can better keep up with your virulence.
You'd think your very clear markings and warnings about your potent venom would be enough to deter people from handling you, but it doesn't stop them.
Technically they can survive your bite with serious medical intervention, but there's no antivenom so good luck. They should know better.
Anyway, have fun out there
