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OhJoySexToy
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Come As You Are by Dr. Emily Nagoski, Reviewed by Erika Moen

Erika is a thin white woman in her early 30s, her short hair is shaved on the sides and she is wearing a black hoody and jeans. Eve is a full-figured, pale-skinned woman in middle age with shoulder-length hair that falls into big curls at the bottom. She wears a sleek black dress with an off-kilter pink belt. Standing next to a copy of the book COME AS YOU ARE that is just a bit taller than she is, Erika says to the reader, "I cannot stop thinking about Come As You Are. This book has absolutely blown my mind and I'm still reeling from it." "Waaaait a minute," Eve interrupts, pointing accusingly at Erika. "didn't you draw the illustrations for this book? And didn't Nagoski write the introduction to YOUR book? And aren't you guys friends in real life?" "Guilty as charged." Erika admits, throwing her hands up in surrender. "You're too biased to review this book!" Concludes Eve. "You're too biased to review this book!" Concludes Eve. "I knoooooooooow!" Erika howls, consumed with inner turmoil. "Nobody asked me to and I wasn't planning on it... But then I read my advance copy and...." "Holy moley." We catch a glimpse of Erika from the past reading this book and having an explosion over her head. Current Day Erika continues, "I haven't been able to shut up about it in real life and I honestly think I'd be doing a bigger disservice to you folks if I DIDN'T tell you all about it."

A mini-Erika pops up on the stack of books that Dr. Nagoski holds in one hand, while the other hand holds a brain. The books are labeled on their spines, "SCIENCE", "Smart Stuff", "RESEARCH", "Studies". "Dr. Emily Nagoski uses stone cold research and brain science to debunk tons of popularly accepted misinformation about sexuality and presents alternative explanations for how and why sex stuff happens the way it does." "That sounds pretty scholarly." Agrees Eve. "It's more than just intellectual, though!" Erika continues. "She's got real, practical solutions to help people resolve their sexual frustrations and woes." "Oo, worksheets!" Eve squeals as she takes a peek inside the book Erika holds open. Narration: At first I tried to just make a mental note every time she introduced a new concept to me or said something thought-provoking. We see Erika reading the book with a surprised and delighted expression on her face, a single lightbulb illuminates next to her head. Narration: Pretty quickly I realized my brain couldn't realistically keep track of everything. "help" Erika squeaks as she throws the book over her head like a helmet to shield herself from the thousands of lightbulbs flashing around her. Returning to the present day, Erika resumes, "So then I started underlining passages with a red pencil!" As she flips through it, Eve exclaims, "Jesus, you underlined the whole flippin' book!" "Just for you, my dearest perverts, I present to you the top three mind-blowing concepts I learned from Come As You Are."

Title: The Dual Control Model of Sexual Desire A tiny Erika and Eve sit on top of a brain, which in turn sits on top of a classic beam scale. On one side of the scale is a suspended dish labeled "Off" and on the other is one labeled "On" The two quiver a little but are mostly equally weighted against each other. Beneath the Off dish is the text, "Sexual Inhibition System. Notices all the reasons why now is not a good time to be horny." Below the On dish it reads, "Sexual Excitation System. Notices all the sexually relevant information to be turned on." "Oh, I know how sexual desire works!" Eve says to Erika. "One minute you're not horny, the next minute you are!" "Not QUITE." Erika explains. "More like, inside your head there's these two little gauges that are always judging whether now is an appropriate time to be horny or not. If your regular desire for sex has dried up and you're looking to restart it, the answer may be to leave the 'turn on' side alone and focus on removing weight from the 'turn off' side." Title: Spontaneous Desire and Responsive Desire Erika gestures at a stick figure diagram as she explains, "spontaneous desire is the most commonly recognized model in our culture, when the desire to have sex just sorta manifests itself outta no where." In the diagram we see the stick figure walking along, whistling to themself. Suddenly, a lightning bolt labeled "DESIRE" strikes them with a mighty "ka-BOOM!". "ME WANT SEX!" the stick figure announces to the world.

Narration: But it turns out, there is ALSO responsive desire. A new stick figure rushes to our first stick figure, greeting them with a "Hey baby!". "Our original stick figure replies, "I missed you!" Narration: Which is when folks only want sex after consensually sexy things are already happening, and then their mind and body turns on IN RESPONSE TO that sexy context. The two stick figures hug and exchange some kisses, until suddenly- ka-BOOM!- the lightning bolt of desire strikes our original stick figure, who joyously realizes, "Oh, wait a minute- NOW ME WANT SEX!" Now Erika and Eve are speeding towards the reader in a round little convertible car as Erika throws her arm in the air (Don't worry, she's the passenger, not the driver), "Finally I was most surprised to learn that SEX IS NOT A DRIVE" "beep beep!" goes the car. Erika continues, "We hear about 'The Sex Drive' ALL THE FRIGGIN' TIME. But it's not real!" "Wait, what?" Eve asks incredulously as she steers. "My urge to have sex FEELS like a drive!" Narration: Having a DRIVE for something only applies to things that you need to survive. A panicked and exhausted little stick figure races towards words reading "warmth, food, sleep." "I will die without these." they say. Reinforcing the point, they are running along the top of a giant arrow labeled "DRIVE", which also points in the direction of those necessities. Narration: Instead of a drive, sex is just a regular old Incentive Motivation System! The stick figure, now well-fed and rested, is transfixed with awe and desire as they see a big shiny star that they are reaching their little arms towards. "I think this will make me feel good!" the stick figure says, with stars in their own eyes. The giant star is labeled "Attractive External Stimulation."

Alone, a tiny Erika sits on top of an open book that has curled its two opposite top pages into the shape of a heart. "Now, I'm only skimming the surface." Erika says the reader. "Come As You Are goes FAR more in-depth with all of these concepts and MORE, so if you really wanna do some learning you gotta pick up her book. The great thing about Dr. Nagoski is that she takes complex subjects with technical, science terms and translates them into plain, understandable, friendly English with a bucket fulla real compassion." Narration: Dr. Nagoski sums her book up best with a passage from her introduction: Dr. Nagoski stands in slacks, a blazer, and a loose scarf tied around her neck. She is speaking to the reader while holding her book open in one hand. "The promise of Come As You Are is this: No matter where you are in your sexual journey right now, whether you have an awesome sex life and want to expand the awesomeness, or you're struggling and want to find solutions, you will learn something that will improve your sex life and transform the way you understand what it means to be a sexual being. And you'll discover that, even if you don't yet feel that way, you are already sexually whole and healthy. The science says so. I can prove it." p. 11. Transcribed by Erika Moen on August 19, 2024

THE "SEX DRIVE" DOESN'T EXIST. Yup, that's right! Erika Moen was shocked to learn this and so much more in Dr. Emily Nagoski's bestselling book on the science of sex, Come As You Are. It debunks tons of popularly accepted misinformation about sexuality and presents alternative explanations for how and why sex stuff happens the way it does. If you think you're broken sexually, don't worry, you're sexually whole and healthy. The science says so. She can prove it.

Become our Friend With Benefits on https://patreon.com/OhJoySexToy for exclusive comics and posts that aren't available publicly. Your support directly pays the artists we commission to create these original comics just for our site.

OhJoySexToy
@OhJoySexToy
OhJoySexToy
@OhJoySexToy
OhJoySexToy
@OhJoySexToy

Oh Joy Sex Toy Pledge Drive 2024

Today's comic is drawn by Erika Moen and contains depictions of herself and her husband, Matthew Nolan. Erika is a white, Cis woman with she/her pronouns. She’s drawn in a fairy costume with short brown hair and pom-poms on her flat pumps in today's comic. Matthew is a cis white male who goes by he/him pronouns. He has green hair, cool, bright shoes, and a plain T-shirt and trousers combo. Page 1 Erika sweeps across the page dressed as a fairy, she’s tied to the ceiling by a thick rope. Behind her is Matthew on the ladder tying up celebratory flags that say Happy Birthday Oh Joy Sex Toy. As she sweeps, Erika announces - ‘Greetings, gentle wanderer! I-’ Matthew interrupts - ‘Erika?! Why are you dressed up like Tinker Bell?’ Erika gets close and squishes Matthew’s mouth in a loving but comedic way, interrupting him by putting her fingers in his mouth and smushing it. Erika - ‘Chht ! Matthew! I am not a gorgeous wife, who you once created Oh Joy Sex Toy with! No – I am… The Internet fairy!’ She swoops away, floating in the air The camera pans back and we see a huge birthday cake and presents, next to Matthew who’s still on his ladder. Matthew - ‘Is this for the anniversary comic? Because I thought we agreed to a birthday thing for it again this year? I already paid for all the set dressing …’
Erika floats in from above and over a huge panel. Her dress flops over as she’s hanging upside down. Behind her is a puzzle piece board filling the background, on top of each puzzle piece is a throwback to the Internet from 2010’s. Little sentences such as ‘I has cheeseburger’, ‘Asking Jeeves for the meaning of life’, ‘Deconstructive, cishetronomativity, and sharing porn’, fill this board. As Erika hangs, she talks and Matthew adds commentary from the side. Erika - ‘It’s a retrospective comic! Roll with it Nolan! Welcome to the 2010s when the Internet had a lot more space for… ‘ Matthew - ‘Goofing with your friends in 140 characters brackets (Twitter)’ Erika - ‘Tattooed and pierced pinup girl communities… (suicide girls)’ Matthew - ‘Doing it for the vine …’ Erika - ‘Writing academic feminist, theory, and posting hipster porn… (Tumblr)’ Matthew - ‘Cake farts! Oh, such farts.’ Erika - ‘But one piece is missing. The perfect space for… A title appears in a banner! Sex-positive Comics Subtitle Comics that explore and celebrate the world of sex, sexuality, gender, relationships, identity, and being human. Floating around this are other words Sex toy reviews, Autobio, Instructional, Education, Humor, Good ol’-fashioned smut, History, Nonfiction.
We are shown a panel of Erika in Matt from the past, leaping in the air with comic making paraphernalia floating around them. Erika - ‘And so, Oh Joy Sex Toy debutted 11 years ago.’ Matthew - ‘What started as a two person boner-jokes funsies project…’ The next panel has as an abstraction of the Earth on it around. It contains the rest of the Oh Joy Sex Toy team members. An Anonymous vampire. Ripley, a disheveled, anarchist bad ass. Ziggy a dog holding boss. Hein, a big, lovable bear. Jey a grinning happy, go lucky creative. Danny our transcriber guru! On top of the illustration the narration continues Narration - ‘...grew into dozens of contributors in a dedicated team around the world.’ Erika - ‘Who continue to make some of the best positive comics around!‘ Erika swings through on her rope, beneath her is a jungle that quickly becomes a desert, and on top of that are a bunch of gravestones belonging to different publications that have since closed, the jungle is labled as 2010’s publishing and the desert, 2020’s publishing. Erika - ‘The landscape of online publishing has changed a lot over the last decade…’ Matthew pours a bottle of liquid over The Nib’s gravestone, holding a hat in on his chest. Matthew - ‘Algorithms, restrictions, politics. Rest in printouts…’ Erika continues ‘… and we’re watching as much larger publishers with much deeper pockets are downsizing or finally closing up shop.’ A little meme’y ‘Press F to Pay Respects’ floats over the scene.
Narration - ‘Which brings us to…’ Big title Oh Joy Sex Toy’s Pledge Drive! patreon.com/OhJoySexToy Narration - ‘A site like this lives on its patron support and so over our birthday month, we’re asking loud and proud for sign ups.’ We’re shown a big panel of an arrow directed circular point-to-point loop. Subtitle - ‘How does this work?’ A little marshmallow person Clicks on a laptop - ‘You read comic’ We are shown a big coffee cup with a dollar sign on it - ‘You support on Patreon’ Coffee cup goes into the hand of an artist - ‘We hire artist’ The artist now starts work on a comic - ‘Artist makes comic’ ‘The comic appears on Oh Joy Sex Toy’ The final arrow points back to ‘You read comic’, closing the loop! In the middle of this Loop is some narration text - ‘Oh Joy Sex Toy is artist-owned and Patreon supported. We pay artists with this income to make comics that they own and we get to share it with you on Oh Joy Sex Toy for free. No annoying pop-up ads, no paywalls, just comics.’ Erika does a fly by swoop with the sound effect ‘fwip!’ Erika - ‘Committing to one buck per comic – about a coffee per month – keeps us going. Several bucks per comic? Keeps us thriving. Let’s talk about rewards!’ Beneath her is a title surrounded by presents, and around those presents are little subtitles. Title - Pledge Drive Exclusives, Only on the Patreon Subtitles - Essays, comics, Seacrest, podcast, interviews, behind-the-scenes stuff.
Narration - ‘In addition to the rest of the decades worth of bonus content, that patrons already have, we’ve got… All NEW exclusive, comics to share! We encouraged the team to explore topics important to them outside of the world of sex, and what they have made is just so powerful.’ We see a big wide panel of a bowl of Noodle Soup. It’s rendered extravagantly and above it is Hien Pham's lovely face. Title - ‘Hien Pham comics about noodle soup in a heartfelt homage to family.’ The next big wide panel is of Jey Pawlik's exclusive comic, we are shown as Jey takes a selfie using a instant camera with their grandpa. Title - ‘Jey Pawlik is back with a touching piece on the intimacy of instant photography.’ The third full wide panel is of a noisy club, we watch as Ripley LaCross heads towards the dance floor and takes off his glasses. Title - ‘Ripley LaCross invites us to jump into the mosh pit in this cleansing high-octane piece!’ We finally see Erika again she’s swinging past with hr arms behind her head and saying - ‘… And maybe a little something something for me.’
Is just one big panel. It shows Matthew catching Erika as she sweeps by. Behind them, both is the birthday cake from page 1 and the presents. They’re looking at us, the reader as they talk. Erika - ‘From the bottom of our hearts, thank you so, so much to all of you, from our contributors, supporters, and readers.’ Matthew - ‘You’ve kept this site going for all its 11 years.’ Today's lovely comic was made by Erika and Matt, who desperately need support to keep doing this weekly comic! https://www.patreon.com/OhJoySexToy It was then transcribed by Matthew Nolan on 03/01/24.
https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/pledge-drive-2024
HAPPY 11th BIRTHDAY TO OH JOY SEX TOY!
We've got a handful of original bonus comics coming your way this month so keep your eyes peeled on Patreon for those exclusive updates! https://www.patreon.com/OhJoySexToy
Thank you again so, so much for being here.Thank you for making this all possible for over a decade now.
Oh Joy Sex Toy would not exist without you.

OhJoySexToy
@OhJoySexToy

This is the FINAL WEEK of our Pledge Drive! We are 29 patrons away from funding OJST for the year.

Join us on https://patreon.com/OhJoySexToy to celebrate our 11th birthday with bonus comics and a decade's worth of locked content, exclusively for our patrons.

OhJoySexToy
@OhJoySexToy

Oh Joy Sex Toy Pledge Drive 2024

Today's comic is drawn by Erika Moen and contains depictions of herself and her husband, Matthew Nolan. Erika is a white, Cis woman with she/her pronouns. She’s drawn in a fairy costume with short brown hair and pom-poms on her flat pumps in today's comic. Matthew is a cis white male who goes by he/him pronouns. He has green hair, cool, bright shoes, and a plain T-shirt and trousers combo. Page 1 Erika sweeps across the page dressed as a fairy, she’s tied to the ceiling by a thick rope. Behind her is Matthew on the ladder tying up celebratory flags that say Happy Birthday Oh Joy Sex Toy. As she sweeps, Erika announces - ‘Greetings, gentle wanderer! I-’ Matthew interrupts - ‘Erika?! Why are you dressed up like Tinker Bell?’ Erika gets close and squishes Matthew’s mouth in a loving but comedic way, interrupting him by putting her fingers in his mouth and smushing it. Erika - ‘Chht ! Matthew! I am not a gorgeous wife, who you once created Oh Joy Sex Toy with! No – I am… The Internet fairy!’ She swoops away, floating in the air The camera pans back and we see a huge birthday cake and presents, next to Matthew who’s still on his ladder. Matthew - ‘Is this for the anniversary comic? Because I thought we agreed to a birthday thing for it again this year? I already paid for all the set dressing …’
Erika floats in from above and over a huge panel. Her dress flops over as she’s hanging upside down. Behind her is a puzzle piece board filling the background, on top of each puzzle piece is a throwback to the Internet from 2010’s. Little sentences such as ‘I has cheeseburger’, ‘Asking Jeeves for the meaning of life’, ‘Deconstructive, cishetronomativity, and sharing porn’, fill this board. As Erika hangs, she talks and Matthew adds commentary from the side. Erika - ‘It’s a retrospective comic! Roll with it Nolan! Welcome to the 2010s when the Internet had a lot more space for… ‘ Matthew - ‘Goofing with your friends in 140 characters brackets (Twitter)’ Erika - ‘Tattooed and pierced pinup girl communities… (suicide girls)’ Matthew - ‘Doing it for the vine …’ Erika - ‘Writing academic feminist, theory, and posting hipster porn… (Tumblr)’ Matthew - ‘Cake farts! Oh, such farts.’ Erika - ‘But one piece is missing. The perfect space for… A title appears in a banner! Sex-positive Comics Subtitle Comics that explore and celebrate the world of sex, sexuality, gender, relationships, identity, and being human. Floating around this are other words Sex toy reviews, Autobio, Instructional, Education, Humor, Good ol’-fashioned smut, History, Nonfiction.
We are shown a panel of Erika in Matt from the past, leaping in the air with comic making paraphernalia floating around them. Erika - ‘And so, Oh Joy Sex Toy debutted 11 years ago.’ Matthew - ‘What started as a two person boner-jokes funsies project…’ The next panel has as an abstraction of the Earth on it around. It contains the rest of the Oh Joy Sex Toy team members. An Anonymous vampire. Ripley, a disheveled, anarchist bad ass. Ziggy a dog holding boss. Hein, a big, lovable bear. Jey a grinning happy, go lucky creative. Danny our transcriber guru! On top of the illustration the narration continues Narration - ‘...grew into dozens of contributors in a dedicated team around the world.’ Erika - ‘Who continue to make some of the best positive comics around!‘ Erika swings through on her rope, beneath her is a jungle that quickly becomes a desert, and on top of that are a bunch of gravestones belonging to different publications that have since closed, the jungle is labled as 2010’s publishing and the desert, 2020’s publishing. Erika - ‘The landscape of online publishing has changed a lot over the last decade…’ Matthew pours a bottle of liquid over The Nib’s gravestone, holding a hat in on his chest. Matthew - ‘Algorithms, restrictions, politics. Rest in printouts…’ Erika continues ‘… and we’re watching as much larger publishers with much deeper pockets are downsizing or finally closing up shop.’ A little meme’y ‘Press F to Pay Respects’ floats over the scene.
Narration - ‘Which brings us to…’ Big title Oh Joy Sex Toy’s Pledge Drive! patreon.com/OhJoySexToy Narration - ‘A site like this lives on its patron support and so over our birthday month, we’re asking loud and proud for sign ups.’ We’re shown a big panel of an arrow directed circular point-to-point loop. Subtitle - ‘How does this work?’ A little marshmallow person Clicks on a laptop - ‘You read comic’ We are shown a big coffee cup with a dollar sign on it - ‘You support on Patreon’ Coffee cup goes into the hand of an artist - ‘We hire artist’ The artist now starts work on a comic - ‘Artist makes comic’ ‘The comic appears on Oh Joy Sex Toy’ The final arrow points back to ‘You read comic’, closing the loop! In the middle of this Loop is some narration text - ‘Oh Joy Sex Toy is artist-owned and Patreon supported. We pay artists with this income to make comics that they own and we get to share it with you on Oh Joy Sex Toy for free. No annoying pop-up ads, no paywalls, just comics.’ Erika does a fly by swoop with the sound effect ‘fwip!’ Erika - ‘Committing to one buck per comic – about a coffee per month – keeps us going. Several bucks per comic? Keeps us thriving. Let’s talk about rewards!’ Beneath her is a title surrounded by presents, and around those presents are little subtitles. Title - Pledge Drive Exclusives, Only on the Patreon Subtitles - Essays, comics, Seacrest, podcast, interviews, behind-the-scenes stuff.
Narration - ‘In addition to the rest of the decades worth of bonus content, that patrons already have, we’ve got… All NEW exclusive, comics to share! We encouraged the team to explore topics important to them outside of the world of sex, and what they have made is just so powerful.’ We see a big wide panel of a bowl of Noodle Soup. It’s rendered extravagantly and above it is Hien Pham's lovely face. Title - ‘Hien Pham comics about noodle soup in a heartfelt homage to family.’ The next big wide panel is of Jey Pawlik's exclusive comic, we are shown as Jey takes a selfie using a instant camera with their grandpa. Title - ‘Jey Pawlik is back with a touching piece on the intimacy of instant photography.’ The third full wide panel is of a noisy club, we watch as Ripley LaCross heads towards the dance floor and takes off his glasses. Title - ‘Ripley LaCross invites us to jump into the mosh pit in this cleansing high-octane piece!’ We finally see Erika again she’s swinging past with hr arms behind her head and saying - ‘… And maybe a little something something for me.’
Is just one big panel. It shows Matthew catching Erika as she sweeps by. Behind them, both is the birthday cake from page 1 and the presents. They’re looking at us, the reader as they talk. Erika - ‘From the bottom of our hearts, thank you so, so much to all of you, from our contributors, supporters, and readers.’ Matthew - ‘You’ve kept this site going for all its 11 years.’ Today's lovely comic was made by Erika and Matt, who desperately need support to keep doing this weekly comic! https://www.patreon.com/OhJoySexToy It was then transcribed by Matthew Nolan on 03/01/24.
https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/pledge-drive-2024
HAPPY 11th BIRTHDAY TO OH JOY SEX TOY!
We've got a handful of original bonus comics coming your way this month so keep your eyes peeled on Patreon for those exclusive updates! https://www.patreon.com/OhJoySexToy
Thank you again so, so much for being here.Thank you for making this all possible for over a decade now.
Oh Joy Sex Toy would not exist without you.

OhJoySexToy
@OhJoySexToy

The Pill

Love sex but worried about getting knocked up? Tell your ovaries to chill with The Pill with this comic from our archives!

Be our Friend With Benefits on https://www.patreon.com/OhJoySexToy for exclusive comics and posts that aren’t available publicly! Your support directly pays the artists we commission to create these original comics just for our site.