those bermuda triangle sharks who are the puppet masters of ...riiiiiiight... the squirrels ...ho, ho!... with the full blessing of a secret doomsday cult ...heh heh... who are merely the pawns of ...hmmmm... all them haters with the full blessing of ...(cough)... foreign toy makers ...heh heh... in conjuction with the intelligence community ...no, no, wait. I mean... ...huh... the national park system ...ha!... with the backing of ...uhhhh... the rodeo clown cartel ...er... who are merely the pawns of the media ...huh... ...ho, ho!... are doing the dirty work of the psychowhatsits ...er... in order to monopolize the last specimen of the super-virus. ...ho, ho!... ...what?...