I don't want any half and half! I'm already half and half!

Hernando ...ha!... ...no, no, wait. I mean... ...hmmmm... that guy with the eyepatch are working for the five richest families in the country ...(cough)... in order to monopolize the A.M tenderizer. and I know they ...ho, ho!... sold their soul to all them haters all in a big fight over the water supply. ...and nobody seems to care! ...(cough)...