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#The Global Cohost Feed

also: ##The Cohost Global Feed, #The Cohost Global Feed, ###The Cohost Global Feed, #Global Cohost Feed, #global feed, #Cohost Global Feed
oddmerit
@oddmerit
oddmerit
@oddmerit
oddmerit
@oddmerit

i know, in my heart of hearts,

(this post is one of the few posts in my drafts that is in a postable state. figured it wouldnt hurt to try and get some cohosties TTON-pilled on my way out)

if the town of nowhere was as popular as disco elysium, no would have had a fighting chance against harry in tumblr’s Poor Little Meow Meow competition:

  • they’re canonically trans so they have that leg up in the competition
  • their first interaction with someone in town is them walking in on a cannibal preacher eating someone, and their first thought is “i want to suck his dick”
  • their second interaction with someone in town is a fairy stealing their name and forcing them to finish her shift at starbucks
  • their name is no1, which means when the fairy steals their name, they literally forget the concept of saying no to people
  • their name is no where. they’re canonically trans and named themself no2
  • they eat dirt
  • for Gameplay Reasons, they start walking around backwards while looking in a compact mirror
  • when arrested by a cop for an alleged break-and-enter and bank robbery (two separate crimes) they tell the cop that they’re too stupid to pull that off because they eat dirt
  • with said break-and-enter, the first thing they did after breaking-and-entering was raid their brother-in-law’s fridge because they havent eaten in like 24 hours
  • why havent they eaten in 24 hours? the 300-or-so people controlling their brain forgot to feed them
  • their brother in law, who married no’s twin sister, accuses them of being his wife because he doesn’t remember marrying her3 and their response is “yeah i can be your wife if you want”
  • their parents never pick up when they call, even when they are possibly about to go on a suicide mission
  • when they lost their apartment, they decided to move across the largest state in the continental USA on the vaguest hope that they MIGHT have had a sister who MIGHT have offered them a place to stay instead of moving back in with their parents
  • crying is permitted by the DM as a free action

  1. they were also almost named vriska. and komaeda (i think).

  2. i dont remember who said this or if this is just something my brain made up, but iirc someone said “of course they named themself no, what else is a name but something people yell at you when you make bad decisions?”

  3. its complicated. watch the town of nowhere and find out why!

oddmerit
@oddmerit

oh my god i finally know why posts keep appearing to be “eaten” when i post them from my drafts

its because when you post them, they get put on cohost at the time when you CREATED THE DRAFT, not WHEN YOU HIT “POST NOW”. i did not post this “one year ago” i posted this TWO MINUTES AGO but it got put on my page (and your dashes) amongst OTHER YEAR-OLD POSTS. similar issue to the “if you like a post from a year ago, it gets buried in your likes among the other year-old posts and not put on the top” thing