One of the frustrations of a continuously deteriorating-due-to-chronic-pain-and-age brain is that you are not only terrible at organizing things, you're terrible at finding things as well.

Finding things you were looking at just minutes before.

I also need to re-read everything I type a few dozen times and I still find missing letters and whole missing words after hitting publish. I know people with things like Alzheimer's and it's certainly not the same thing. But here I am, the only new memories I'm able to make is how much Nova Scotia's healthcare system sucks now.

Anyway, both of these photos were in the wrong folders and it took me ten minutes to remember which ones they were.

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Miyazaki-ken isn't a very well populated area and all of the young people there head off to the bigger cities in Japan as soon as they're able to. Fukuoka seems to be the main destination but if they can get to Osaka or Tokyo, so much the better.

Familiar story.

Because of the low population of young people a lot the downtown areas was always struggling on the weekends. Public events, assuming the budget was there for it, were common on Sundays. Small stuff. A local band with stars in their eyes playing a gig outside of the bookstore. A local dance school showing their stuff. A DJ in a clothing store.

Why this never gets done of here in Halifax I have no idea. It's a similarly sized city with all the same problems. Only big events are allowed. Probably because they want utterly unnecessary cops crawling around and acting like World War 3 will start the second someone starts to, you know, be happy and enjoying themselves.

I'm just a fellow who has erratic tastes that trend toward the old and sometimes bizarre. I will talk your ear off about house music, vaporwave, some games, and esoteric mediums. I also love rare re-releases of games, and oddities/unreleased things too.

The above is one of those more unusual things I own -- a modern day minidisc, of a vapor-ambient album: //DLM's 5 AM in Japan. Minidiscs themselves are very fascinating to me, as a (in my opinion) better form of optical media. Resistant to datarot, sturdier than a CD, and look cooler too. The limiting factor of the medium was the fact that until Hi-MD, a format that only manifested in Japan and maybe parts of the EU, minidiscs had a very small amount of music storage space. We're talking 80 minutes of music at max audio quality, with the other encoders sucking pretty bad for the longest time (Thank you, Sony). Now-a-days, through the efforts of very talented and determined individuals, the encodes are more efficient, and sound way better, letting you cram close to 1:30+ onto a disc without sounding like it just stepped out of static hell.

I think one of the things I love about minidiscs, outside of the above, though, is just how.. real(?) everything feels. The click of the device popping open, the clunk of it closing, and the physical vibration in my hand as the thing spins up to be read. Also the fact it has a headphone jack so I can use my better headphones on it instead of my bluetooth ones. It's all very tactile and analog, which is very nice.

i've been having a good time with shadow of the erdtree. i'm taking my time with it, and haven't hit any of the really ridiculous late game bosses i've heard people complaining about (i think). i've just really enjoyed the level design of it, both in the open world and in the dungeons, and in that sense at least it feels like a gigantic step forward from the base game.

but

there's just so damn much of it, and i really needed a change of pace, so i went back to selaco last night. god damn. this game is such a fucking breath of fresh air. it's such a great synthesis of ideas from old school corridor shooters, immersive sims, and even call of duty-ish games. cannot recommend it highly enough.

To you, the voice in my head
The voice that tells me it's over
Who dares mock me as I bathe
I am enough.

Yesterday, a day long panic
And I hurt loved ones in it
But there will be days like that
Even then
I am enough.

Even if I don't feel it
Especially if I don't feel it
I have lovers who will be patient
Who care for me deeply
And remind me
I am enough.

I know what you are voice
You are every moment
Where I was shamed
Abandoned and hurt
Every cutting glance
Which said
You'll never be enough.

But I AM enough.
I know I am enough.
And when I do not.
When you as doubt come in
I now glare at you in the mirror
And you flinch
Because I am enough.

Because even if I falter
I get up, repair what I can
And keep going forward
Because I am enough.

No further comment other than check out my patreon for more poetry.