80% of dolls believe plushies, dresses, and teapots are sentient, while only 40% believe other dolls are. Even less self-report consciousness, claiming things like "they're an extension of Mistresses' will" or "not a person."

When asked how their "philosophical zombie" nature would affect the fight for doll rights, we received numerous replies. One doll claimed "even objects should be tried fairly." Another began to cry.

The results reinforce what many politicians, organizers, and ethicists have been calling for. Homunculus Protein Fiber, or what's popularly known as "dollmeat", is the most sustainable and moral replacement for animal protein.

Measure L levies a small fee of one additional dollar on every school lunch sold in the district. The funds will be allocated to the police department.

Argument For

Not only does this provide a fair way of funding the police without implementing any form of income tax, it also provides children an excellent object lesson. Our kids will be able to learn all about how public services are funded, through firsthand experience, AND maybe even learn something about budgeting.

And as a true centrist, I'm happy to say that for once we agree with those who sneer that we should defund the police department. Implementing this fee will give families a chance to vote with their dollars democratically about whether they think the police department should receive funding or not. Additionally, most nutritionists agree this measure may reduce childhood obesity.

Argument Against

This is yet another example of big government spending their taxes on their pet projects and then turning around and expecting us to vote to fund essential services. We are taxed enough already, and if the government needs to fund the police department, it has an enormous amount of revenue it's currently spending on social housing or libraries, which it could relocate to ensuring our police officers are well-paid and well-armed.