okay this week, the wheel picked out Batman and Robin for us. its sure a movie that was made at one point!!! oh boy

here's my thoughts:

my girlfriend Liz and i have had a two weeks-ish long tradition of watching generally considered bad/cheesy 90s action movies on our weekly date (this has replaced watching netflix castlevania since we finished that) we even made a cursed wheel for the next couple of months! i'm going to start jotting down some notes on my thoughts on them as we go along (i'll need to go back and do a write up for speed and waterworld, which were our first couple of movies)

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look at this wheel. somebody on the internet will defend each of these movies passionately

okay, let's talk about speed 2. here's what i didn't like:

• some dudes in suits really were like "lets do speed but with a different vehicle." its not that the premise of the first film made any sense, but at least they were successful selling it to me. who the fuck gets excited about cruise ships
• jason patric, who is the keanu substitute, has none of keanu's charisma and sandra bullock is sleepwalking through the movie. they have absolutely no chemistry and the first half of the movie is all scenes of the two of them and they are excruciating
• its an incoherent mess. there's like half a dozen subplots and some of them are either pointless or somehow better than the main subplot of jason patric/sandra bullock's relationship issues (the deaf child actress was charming as hell and put more effort into her performance than bullock)
• the action sequences are kinda whatever for the most part? again, jason patric is not selling me on the situations he's being put in.
• oops, we put in fat jokes and two wacky black sidekick characters! its the 90s, after all
• willem dafoe's character makes a lot of silly decisions for the sake of the bad guy not winning at the end. he's such a brain genius until he's not anymore

i could not begin to believe that these two had any feelings for each other at any point in the movie

here's what i liked about speed 2 (there are in fact some things i liked about it!)

• holy shit, i hope willem dafoe got his back checked out after filming for how hard he carried the movie. he's absolutely peak dafoe batshit and he is an absolute delight in every scene he's in
• the ending sequence of the boat ramming into st martin is so absolutely absurd that it somehow wrapped back around to being enjoyable??? even the weird ass physical comedy gags that didn't match the tone of the rest of the movie were great
• the soundtrack is banging tbh - between the composed music and the included songs, i legitimately really enjoyed the speed 2 music lmao
• probably unintentional anti-capitalist message with willem dafoe's company fucking him over and a bunch of rich white colonizers having their property destroyed at the end. is speed 2 based????

this isn't even peak willem dafoe face in this movie, the actually best one would probably be a bit of a jumpscare for reading under the fold

Ame and Liz's Ratings:

Ame's Rating - 4/10 unsalvageable, chemistry-free bullock/patric scenes eat up a lot of screen time and make the first half fairly excruciating. salvaged into watchable by willem dafoe's performance and also a bunch of rich people having their shit destroyed

Liz's Rating - 3/10 "Way to take Sandra Bullock, an amazing actor and one of the best parts of the first movie, and make me hate her and her terrible doomed to fail relationship. The guy who covered himself in leeches and hijacked a cruise liner was more likable than the main characters. He was based. I agree, Willem Defoe, fuck capitalism"