Part Thirteen of the Switch AU
A JSE Fanfic
[This is part of an ongoing fic series I started in April 2019. After a normal evening, the group finds that the kids are missing. Anti, in particular, doesn't take it well.]
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“Hey Dad, I think I see their car.”
Anti looked down at Will pulling on the hem of his jacket, then looked back up again, following Will’s pointed finger down the road. It was about four in the afternoon, which meant there weren’t a lot of cars driving in the area, which made the familiar blue car stand out a lot more. “Yep, I think that’s them,” he said, waving.
The car pulled over to the side of the road, and the backdoor opened. “Will!” Michelle burst out, tackling her friend in a hug.
“Ack!” Will stumbled back from the force of it. “Dad, she’s strangling me!”
“No she’s not, Will,” Anti said, smiling a bit.
“I’m so glad to see you!” Michelle was happily oblivious to any trouble she might’ve caused.
“I just saw you yesterday!” Will said, dumbfounded.
The driver’s side window rolled down, and Rama stuck their head out. “Hey kids, why not talk in the car? We still need to drop you off before we head out.” They nodded in Anti’s direction. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Anti said back. “Yeah, c’mon, get inside. We’re already kinda late.”
The two kids climbed into the back, and Anti walked around to get into the passenger side. As they headed out, Michelle piped up. “Why can’t we come too?” she asked, whining a bit.
Rama sighed gently. “We told you, it’s for grown-ups.”
“But it’s a birthday party, isn’t it? I want to go to a birthday party.”
“You just had a birthday party yesterday,” Rama said teasingly. “And you won’t be getting presents at this one.”
“Oh! That reminds me!” Michelle suddenly leaned across the middle seat and stuck a stuffed animal in Will’s face. “Look what Ren and Dad got me! After the party ended and you left and everything.”
“Oh!” Will leaned back, getting a better look at the stuffed animal. “Is that…one of those Beanie Baby bears that are kinda hard to get?”
“My teacher has one in her room, and ever since I saw it, I really really liked it,” Michelle chattered. “So I kept asking and asking and Ren and Dad got me one!”
Anti chuckled a bit, glancing over at Rama. “So. How much did that cost?”
“Not that much,” Rama said defensively.
“Alright, Little Mx. Money to Spare,” Anti laughed, settling back in the car seat. “Hey, how’s Jackie doing?”
Rama paused. “Better. Still living with Henrik, we’ll meet the two of them there. But we talk almost every day online, and Michelle seems to understand.”
“Good.” Anti nodded. He wasn’t exactly sure about it, but he thought that maintaining contact was a good way to keep up a romantic relationship. Just like a friendship. Even though he did have a bad habit of suddenly going silent in his own friendships…but he’d been doing much better at it. Case in point, actually going to this ‘party’ even if he wasn’t too much a fan of what they had planned. It would be much better with other people.
After dropping the kids off with the babysitter, it was a short drive over to the restaurant. Surprisingly, it was still fairly crowded at four o’clock, though not nearly as crowded as it would be even an hour later. Though perhaps part of the reason it looked crowded was because of the six people in the small waiting area, most of whom immediately stood up and walked over the moment Anti and Rama walked into the building.
“Anti! You made it!” JJ rushed over, pausing a moment before getting any closer. When Anti nodded, JJ closed the distance, giving him a quick hug. “We were starting to get worried about you two.”
“Yeah, well…you’ll have to talk to Rama about that, ‘cause they were late in the first place to pick me up,” Anti said jokingly.
JJ raised an eyebrow. “I see.” He turned to Rama, but then froze. “Well. Seems like they’re busy,” he chuckled.
Anti looked over as well. And he made a face. It seemed Rama and Jackie were talking…and more than that, actually. “Get a room, you two,” he said.
Jackie glanced over at him and smiled a bit, pulling away from his spouse. “Give us a break, Anti,” he said. Anti rolled his eyes, but secretly he was glad to see that Jackie was indeed doing better. Physically, he hadn’t changed much; he was still wearing the red hoodie that he hadn’t once taken off since his return, with its sleeves pulled far down, and his hair was just as short. But behind his glasses, his eyes were somehow…lighter. Apparently he started to see a therapist, and it must’ve been working really well.
Schneep appeared next to Anti. “You should see the two of them on the video chat,” he muttered. “It is almost insufferable. Too sweet.”
“Aw, Schneep’s just jealous,” Jackie teased. “I know you want a partner, zappy boy.”
“Oh, as if,” Schneep scoffed. “They would have to be able to keep up with me, and I know that is impossible, so unless I find someone who can—ow!” Anti had punched Schneep in the arm. “Ah, always so violent,” he muttered.
“Oh, you haven’t seen me being violent,” Anti promised.
“Hey, there will be none of this,” JJ said sternly. “It’s my birthday.”
“Your birthday was like, four days ago,” Anti pointed out.
“Yes, well, there were no good shows playing on a Wednesday and a holiday,” JJ said, folding his arms in an almost sulky way. “And this place closed early.”
Anti rolled his eyes. “Well. Happy birthday, Jackson. I’d give you your present but the stupid online shipping is taking forever.” Taking a step back, Anti looked around the waiting area. “Where’s Marvin?”
“I’m righ’ here.”
Anti turned back around. Marvin was sitting in a chair right next to the restaurant’s entrance, easy to miss when coming in. He was wearing his nice jacket, and also… “Are you wearing headphones?” Anti asked, surprised.
Marvin grinned. “Yea.” He tapped the side of the heavy black headphones. “Noise cancellin’. T’ese places get very loud an’ bright, y’know. I mean, not t’at they didn’, back…where I’m from, but we didn’ have headphones then, and jesus, they make it all more bearable.”
“I see.” A bit odd, but honestly, Anti didn’t really care. If Marvin wanted to wear headphones in a restaurant, that was fine, not like it was disturbing anyone. And it was then that Anti noticed the other two people sitting nearby. He vaguely recognized one as JJ’s stage manager—what was her name? Started with a D—which made sense, of course JJ would invite her. But the other one…Anti narrowed his eyes. “What’re you doing here?”
Stacy Davidson looked away from her conversation, expression immediately dropping once she noticed Anti. Before she could say anything, JJ stepped in between her and Anti. “I invited her,” he said calmly.
“What?! Why?”
“Well, because we’re friendly,” JJ explained.
Anti stared at him. “Since when?!”
“For about a month, now? Of course, she started by talking to Rama and Jackie, but over time she’s met all the rest of us, too, except for you, apparently.” JJ lowered his voice. “I don’t know why you’re acting like this, when from what I’ve heard, you’ve only met her once, and that’s not nearly long enough to build up resentment. Besides, the dinner’s only going to be an hour, and from there we’ll all be quiet in the theatre, so you won’t even have to talk to her if you don’t want. Understand?”
Anti was silent for a moment. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Stacy—it was that he didn’t trust her. To be fair, he didn’t trust most people. But there was something about her specifically that felt a little weird. Some American woman, taking a personal vacation for almost two months now? Who has the time and money for that? And why here? Why vacation in this random city that wasn’t even that much of a tourist destination? But Anti sighed. “Fine.”
One of the restaurant hosts came into the waiting area. “Jackson, party of eight?”
“That’s us!” Jameson said, cheerfully waving the host down. “Come on, everyone.”
The whole party followed the host to the table, chatting happily among each other. Except for Anti, who trailed behind, mood suddenly a bit darker.
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Hours later, Rama and Anti found themselves back in the car with each other, heading to pick up the kids. Anti looked out the window at the night sky and yawned. It really hadn’t been that bad. Dinner had been spoiled a little bit, with the presence of that Stacy lady. He’d spent a bit too much mental energy trying to forget she was there. But the theatre had been alright. It probably helped that the play they’d seen was a Halloween special, and Anti grudgingly had to admit it was pretty good, even if he didn’t enjoy sitting in a dark, uncomfortable audience seat with a couple constantly whispering to each other behind him.
“Here we are,” Rama said, pulling to the side of the road in front of a regular suburban house. “Let’s go get the kids.”
“You go ahead, I’ll stay here,” Anti said, already pulling out his phone and opening up a game.
Rama sighed gently, then said, “Of course,” and opened the car door to leave.
Anti watched them walk up the path and wait at the door. He made sure the old lady who owned the house (and frequently worked as a babysitter, apparently) had opened the door before going back to his game. A few turns later, he realized that it was taking a while for Rama to return with the kids. Grumbling, Anti glanced back towards the house, expecting to see Rama chatting with the lady. And they were. But something was…off. Sitting up straight, Anti watched Rama’s expression. They seemed…upset. Curious, Anti climbed out of the car and walked up to the door.
“See, he can tell you himself!” The old lady said, gesturing at Anti as he approached.
“Uh, tell them what?” Anti asked.
“Margaret says that you already picked up the kids,” Rama explained.
“What?” Anti looked between the two of them, searching for any hint of amusement, like this might be a joke. “Uh…well, I haven’t. So you can go get them now.”
The old lady, Margaret, paused, as if also waiting for a punchline. When nothing came, she looked confused. “But…”
“See?! That’s what I was trying to say!” Rama said, throwing their hands in the air. Behind the obvious exasperation, their eyes were wide, their voice shaking a bit as they continued, “Margaret, this has been all fun and games, but it’s late, and the kids need to get home.”
Margaret shook her head slowly. “I—I’m sorry, but…they’re not here.”
Anti froze. Then immediately started to laugh. “Alright, real funny. But we REALLY need to get home.” He leaned past Margaret, looking into the house behind her. “Will! Michelle! C’mon, the joke’s up!”
“Anti…” Rama said in a low voice. “I-I think—”
“Oh dear, it’s all my fault!” Margaret suddenly gasped. “I’m so sorry, I could’ve sworn it was you. You showed up about half an hour ago, said you were going to take them home. You had a car—”
“All good, except I can’t fucking drive!” Anti suddenly snapped.
“Anti!” Rama snapped right back. “Margaret doesn’t know that! Don’t blame her for this!”
Anti took a few steps back, saying nothing. The ice cold realization was starting to sink in, and he was starting to physically shiver, as though he’d actually been hit with a bucket of water.
“What did this guy look like?” Rama asked, turning back to Margaret. “You said you thought it was Anti, but was there anything different, that stood out?”
Margaret shook her head. “I may be old, but my memory is clear as ever, and I am positive he looked just like Mr. McLoughlin here. And the kids seemed alright with it, too…” She trailed off, suddenly looking puzzled. “Which is a bit odd, innit? I’m sure that Will, at least, would know his dad couldn’t drive.”
Rama swore under their breath. “We have to—Anti?”
Anti was walking back down the path, pulling out his phone and hurriedly dialing a number. He paced along the sidewalk as he listened to it ringing on the other end. It was quickly picked up.
“Hel—”
“Did you pick up the kids?” Anti asked.
There was a slight pause on the other end. “Uh…I’m sorry, I-I don’t understand,” Jackie said.
“The kids. When you and Volt were driving back to your apartment, did you stop by to pick them up?” Anti insisted.
“Um…no,” Jackie said hesitantly. “Why? What’s wr—”
Anti hung up before he was even finished asking that question, already dialing a second number. This one took a while more to connect. “Did you pick up the kids?” he asked again.
“Anit?” JJ said. “What’s this about?”
“It’s about the kids, I thought that’d be clear. Did you and Marvin pick them up when you were heading home?”
“Why would we pick up Michelle and Will?” JJ was clearly confused. “Oh, I suppose that’s not an answer. Well, no, we didn’t. Weren’t you and Rama going to do that?” He paused. “Anti? Are you still there?”
Anti wasn’t hearing anything beyond the sudden rush of panicking white noise in his head. Now very pale, he hung up without another word.
Rama suddenly appeared next to him. “Anti? What’s wrong?”
Suddenly furious, Anti whirled on them. “My fucking son is missing, that’s what’s wrong!” He shouted.
Rama’s eyes flashed. “Yes, well, my fucking DAUGHTER is missing! So maybe you should listen to me when I try to tell you that we should call the police, like I’ve been trying to tell you for the past five minutes!”
Anti suddenly laughed. “Oh yes, let’s do that, why don’t we? Cause they did such a good job when Jackie disappeared! Fucking grand, go ahead!”
“Well it’s better than doing nothing!” Rama closed their eyes, pressing a hand to their chest as they took several deep breaths. “Look, how about I drive us to my house first? This could all be some kind of misunderstanding. Maybe they walked home, it’s only a couple blocks.”
“They didn’t walk home,” Anti said bitterly.
Rama blinked. “Well, you sound sure, don’t you?”
“Because sure, a six—sorry, seven year old might think that’s a good idea,” Anti said, folding his arms. “But a ten year old has enough common sense to not go walking out when it’s pitch ass black outside! Or, y’know, at least Will does. And you know he’d stop Michelle if she decided to do that!” Anti balled his hands into fists to keep them from shaking. “You go home and check, I’m going back to my home so I can blast Skillet through my headphones to calm down.” He scowled at Rama as they started to stay something else, then started to leave.
“Anti!” Rama called.
He didn’t look back. He had to get to a bus station and back home. Because right now, he was very conscious of the fact that he had a handgun in a hidden holster under his jacket. And that was something that he didn’t want to think about.
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It was almost nine o’clock when Anti arrived back at his apartment, after taking an almost-empty bus halfway across the city. Once inside, he elected to use the stairs instead of the elevator, not wanting to stay still for any longer than absolutely necessary. It took a moment for him to find the key to his apartment. And once he did, he found that unlocking his door was pointless: it was already unlocked.
Alarm bells went off in his head—no, more than that, it was a warning siren, the type of which you’d hear during a state of immediate citywide crisis. He never left his door unlocked, not even when he was inside the apartment. And with Will…with him having disappeared not too long ago…
Anti reached inside his jacket to grab his handgun, but then immediately let go; he wasn’t sure what he’d do if he found someone inside and had a gun in his hand. So instead, he threw open the door, hand feeling the wall for the light switch. “Whoever the FUCK is in here—”
The lights flipped on.
Anti froze.
The inside of the apartment was ruined. The cupboards of the kitchenette were thrown open, their contents strewn about the counters, the sofa and chairs had their cushions and pillows pulled off and hurled about, and any available drawers had been yanked out of their places. But that was only a little alarming compared to everything else. The coffee table had been stabbed. Anti recognized all the knives from his collection, as well as plain kitchen knives, all driven point-down into the wooden surface. And the walls…someone had been drawing on the walls. They were covered in rough drawings of smiley faces. Some of the faces had their eyes X’d out, some of them had wide, gaping smiles, but they all were drawn in a red-brown liquid that, judging from the trails, had been dripping for a while and only recently started to congeal.
Anti stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. His eyes slowly trailed across the walls, tracing the drawn-on smiles. He approached the coffee table, bending down to touch the ruined surface. Who would do this?
Immediately, he knew. He was actually amazed he hadn’t realized sooner. Who would possibly have a motive for taking Will and Michelle? Maybe someone who’d taken people before. Who would draw smiles all over the walls? Maybe someone who’d never once stopped smiling as long as Anti and the others had known him.
“Oh my god…” Anti whispered. “You took Will.” His vision started to blur, and his chest rose and fell quickly, overcome with a sudden rise of sharp, burning, painful emotion. He grabbed the nearest knife, wrenching it from the surface of the table. And in one quick motion, he threw it at the wall. The point embedded itself in the eye of one of the smiley faces. “You took my son, you fucking bastard!”
He pulled another knife free, throwing it at the wall as well. He didn’t care that it merely bounced off the surface, he was already grabbing another and throwing it as well. “Fuck you!” He yelled. “Fuck you fuck you!” Words were not enough. He merely screamed as he yanked out another one of the knives. This one didn’t go into the wall. It went back into the table, stabbing it, again and again and again. His throat started to burn from how much he screamed, but he kept going. He grabbed a pillow nearby and slashed at it, feathers flying, again and again and again. He couldn’t clearly see what he was doing as the tears started to fall from his eyes, smearing his sight into mere colors. He turned back to the table, and down the knife went, again and again and again and again and agai—
Anti cried out, pulling back. The knife clattered to the wooden table surface. A bit of crimson stained its edge. Rubbing his eyes, he glanced down at his arm. The knife had sliced through his jacket, near his wrist. Blood was leaking from a cut. Anti’s eyes went wide, and he threw himself backwards, scrambling against the floor until his back hit a wall. His hand flew to his throat, rubbing a line across a specific part, hidden by the choker he usually wore.
“F…fuck…” Anti shook his head. He couldn’t be here. He COULDN'T BE HERE right now, or he might do something he’ll regret. Pushing himself to his feet, he reached inside his jacket and pulled his gun out of its holster, throwing it across the room, as far away from him as possible.
There was a small ding! sound from his pocket. Before he even realized what he was doing, Anti grabbed his phone and threw that as well. He winced as it cracked against the opposite wall. Fine. Whatever. He’d deal with that later. He couldn’t be here right now. Spinning around, Anti flung the door to his apartment open and ran outside, slamming the door behind him.
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He didn’t know where he was going. It was nine o’clock—no, it was about nine forty now, when had so much time passed?—at night, and he didn’t want to be around people. He’d probably just end up snapping at anyone who saw him.
Actually, there was no ‘probably’ about it. He found himself back on another bus, heading…somewhere. He was sitting on a bench, arms folded around himself, shaking slightly. And there was a woman sitting on the bench across from him. Staring. He flinched, and growled, “Why don’t you just fucking murder me already?!” The woman jumped, and looked away. He got off on the next stop.
After that, he got on the next bus that appeared, not caring where it took him. He stayed there until it pulled into a small station, and the driver looked back at him and said, “Hey. Buses stopping for the night, buddy. If you need to get somewhere, the train station’s right here.” Anti stared at her, then stood up and walked off silently.
The city had a train system, though not a big or extensive one. There were only three major stops, and it appeared as though he’d arrived at the one in the center of the city. This station doubled as a hub for the buses. It should have been fairly busy, even this late at night, but there was no one there. It seemed all the bus drivers had clocked out, and there were no passengers waiting for the train. Anti walked up onto the station platform, looking up at the round lamps giving off an orange-yellow glow. After a moment, he walked over to the nearest bench and sat down.
It was never truly quiet in a city, but this is as close as it got. The small amount of traffic was just a distant noise. And there didn’t seem to be a train coming anytime soon. Anti stared at the tracks. What if he just jumped onto them? And then a train appeared? What would happen? Anti stopped himself before he could go any farther down that path. He knew exactly what would happen, and it wasn’t something he wanted. He didn’t even want to think about it.
Of course, that didn’t stop that thought from coming back into his mind barely a minute later. This time, Anti was already thinking about who would be around to clean up the mess before he managed to catch himself. “F…fuck…” he said, physically flinching. He curled his hands into fists, digging his nails into his palms. “Stop it,” he muttered. “You were doing so good with…these.”
Time passed. How much, he wasn’t exactly sure. He was too deep in his own head, trying not to think about the train coming, trying not to think about what might be happening to Will and Michelle, trying not to think about…a lot of things.
Something was flickering in the corner of his vision.
Anti blinked, looking over in that direction. There was a large trashcan in the middle of the train station. And something was glowing inside it. Anti frowned, watching it. Had someone thrown away a glow stick or something? But then, what was the movement, and why was he just noticing it now?
Sighing, Anti stood up and walked over to the trashcan. Maybe it was a discarded toy or something that had just found a second wind in its batteries. Leaning over, he peered inside the can.
It was definitely NOT a glow stick OR a toy.
Puzzled, Anti stared at it a while longer. And then it suddenly moved, and he yelled, stumbling back. “Wh—I’m—fuck—am I—?” He couldn’t even find the right exclamation to use. With wide eyes, he kept staring at the trash can, the glow still coming from inside.
There was a rumbling sound, and Anti looked over to see a train approaching the station. Quickly, he scrambled over to the platform, stopping just behind the yellow line that marked the safest distance to stand at. The train slowed to a halt, and as soon as the doors opened Anti jumped inside the artificial white light of the train car, grabbing the nearest pole for standing room. As the train pulled away, he kept staring at the platform while it faded into the distance.
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He was in the north part of the city now, and he had no idea what time it was. But judging by the emptiness of the streets and the fact that most of the businesses were closed, it was pretty closed. Anti walked for a while, taking random turns at crossroads, sometimes walking across the street whenever he felt like it. Eventually, he saw a building that was lit up, a tiny little corner diner with a neon sign outside advertising twenty-four hour service. He ducked inside, and it was only when he was hit with a blast of warm air that he realized how cold he’d been.
Strained pop music was playing in the air. The diner was fairly clean, most of the furniture made of wood—or at least plastic meant to resemble wood. A teenage boy was loitering behind the counter with earbuds in, though he snapped to attention when he saw Anti walk in. “Uh…hi, welcome to the Cup and Platter,” he said.
Anti didn’t even acknowledge him, walking over to the nearest booth and sitting down, immediately burying his head in his folded arms.
After a moment, footsteps approached the booth, and Anti looked up again to see the teenager hovering nearby, holding a pen and a notebook. “Uh, sir, is there anything I can do for you?”
“Yeah, why don’t you get some fucking better music in here?” Anti snapped.
The teenager blinked. “Um…well I can’t do anything about that. But I can get you a menu? And talk to my manager about the music?”
Anti huffed, and slammed his head into the table hard enough to rattle the salt and pepper shakers.
“Whoa!” The teenager jumped. “I—sir, if it’s really bothering you—”
“Just shut up,” Anti growled. “Just…” He sighed. “A menu, fine. You do that, I’ll…yeah.”
The teenager hesitated, then nodded and backed up. He grabbed a laminated menu from behind the counter and walked back over to drop it off before going back around the counter.
Anti glanced over the menu. Mostly breakfast foods and sandwiches. Sighing again, he dropped it and set his head back down on the table. He didn’t want to eat right now. But maybe they’d kick him out if he didn’t order anything…fine, he’d get something small. In a minute.
Before he could…well, he didn’t know exactly what he was planning to do, other than space out. But before he could properly space out, the teenager once again walked up to the booth. “Are…you ready to order, sir?” he asked.
“Fucking…fine, can I have a black coffee and a plate of chips?” Anti asked. He instinctively looked across the booth to ask Will what he wanted, only to get a hot knife in the chest as he remembered.
“Got it.” The teenager didn’t even bother to write that down. “I’ll be right back, sir.”
It didn’t take long for the coffee and fries to arrive. Anti immediately grabbed the coffee cup and downed it. The bitter liquid was scalding hot, burning his throat, but he finished the whole thing in one go anyway, then slammed his head down on the table again. “Fuck everything,” he muttered. He folded his arms around his head, blocking out all light. Only a few minutes later, despite the caffeine in his system, he managed to fall asleep.
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“Oh my god oh my god oh my goooood.” Anti paced the room, folding and unfolding his arms. “Oh my fucking god this is the worst idea! Who let me do this?”
Jackie watched from the chair where he was sitting with some amusement. “You’re really nervous, aren’t you?”
“Oh, fucking understatement of the year!” Anti whirled on him. “I can’t fucking believe I thought this was a good idea! Why didn’t you stop me?!”
“Well, you really want to, don’t you?” Jackie reasoned.
Anti laughed. “Of course I do. But sometimes I also want to go skydiving without a parachute, that doesn’t mean I should. Fuck!” He buried his face in his hands. “Oh my god, I’m gonna fuck up. I’m gonna fucking…I-I’ll have to call CPS on myself, I’m done, I—”
“You’re not gonna have to do that,” Jackie said, standing up and walking over. He placed a hand on Anti’s shoulder, then quickly withdrew it when Anti flinched. “You’re very good with Michelle, why would this be any different?”
“Because Michelle’s three,” Anti explained. “And I’m not her dad. All I have to do is make sure she eats and doesn’t break anything. With a kid of my own I-I have to—to help him with school, make sure he stays out of trouble, make sure he never feels like I’m not listening to him, I gotta set a good example—I am the worst person to look to as a good example! Fuck!”
“Anti. Stop.” Jackie’s voice turned firm. “You are totally capable of all of that, no matter what you think. Clearly, you already know what to do. And you have the skills to pull it off.” He smiled a bit. “Y’know, you’re kinda like a hedgehog.”
That was strange enough to snap Anti out of his spiraling thoughts. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Cause you’re all pointy, but you can also be soft,” Jackie said teasingly.
Anti rolled his eyes. “I’m not soft.”
“But you can be. I’ve seen it,” Jackie said, smile widening. “Look, what matters most is that you love your kid, and you listen to him. And of course, there’s all the material providing for him, but the agency wouldn’t have let you through unless you could do that.” Jackie shook his head. “I’m getting off topic. Love and listening. Those are things you can do, and do well.”
Anti looked at him, saying nothing, but his expression obviously distressed.
“It might be a little…awkward at first,” Jackie said. “But if you’re open with him, and talk to him, then it’ll all turn out okay. Plus, you can always ask me and Rama for advice if you need to.”
“I just…fuck.” Anti pressed a hand to his throat, feeling his breath pass in and out. “What if I don’t do enough? What if he ends up lighting a fire behind the school dumpster? Or breaking a shop window and threatening people with the cut glass? Or messing with a computer until it sends emails to half the adults in town that is just a bunch of insults and swearing? Or—”
Jackie laughed. “Those are some ridiculous, and oddly specific scenarios.”
Anti glared at him. “I am literally naming events from my childhood, Jackie.”
“I…oh.” Jackie seemed momentarily taken aback by that.
“Yeah, I was a little shit and my mom did nothing about it, how am I supposed to know what to do?!”
“Well, I suppose that’s where you can ask for advice,” Jackie said slowly. “Also, if you really care about this kid, and show that you care, and teach and explain everything to him, you’ll never have to worry about him acting out, cause he won’t have reason to.”
Anti closed his eyes, breathing deeply. “Fuck.”
“Y’know that’s starting to not sound like a word.”
That caused a bout of laughter. “Yeah,” Anti muttered. He paused, rubbing his upper arms. “I…I guess I have some idea what to do…”
“And you’ll be great at it!” Jackie said encouragingly. “Say it. Tell me you’ll be great at it.”
“I…I’ll be great at it.”
Jackie paused, then put his hand on Anti’s shoulder again. “You can do this, Anti. Just know you can.”
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Anti woke up, and the first thing he noticed was that his back hurt. He groaned, and straightened, causing a sudden flare of pain as he shifted position. The second thing he noticed was that his eyes were wet, and he hurriedly wiped them and looked around. The diner looked almost the same, except now the teenage boy was gone, replaced by an older woman, who was currently shaking his shoulder. “Sir, you’ve been here for far too long,” she said.
“How long?” Anti asked.
“A couple hours. We’ve been patient, but you simply must leave now.”
Anti sighed. He looked out the window—
No. There was no way. He must be seeing things.
“Uh, yeah.” Anti dug into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, handing the woman a twenty, more than enough to cover what he ordered. “Keep the change, I’ll…go.” And he stood up and left, heading outside. He had to get a closer look at this.
It was across the street. His eyes locked on it. This had to be a trick, right? Maybe it was Distorter, he could cause illusions. “This isn’t funny!” He shouted. “Just come out and tell you what you want!” He barely noticed that the woman inside the diner was giving him several odd looks.
It moved.
Anti immediately jumped, and ran in the opposite direction.
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The run eventually slowed to a walk once Anti realized he’d outrun it. Though he kept walking. What the hell was it? Was he just losing his mind? “About time,” he muttered, laughing darkly. But though he joked, the thing was actually kind of scaring him. He didn’t want to start seeing things. He had enough problems as it was.
He walked through the city, heading vaguely south but not really caring how winding the path he took was. After a while, he ended up at the park. Which caused him to pause. He hadn’t walked THAT far, had he? Come to think of it, the sky was significantly lighter than it had been when he left the diner.
Well, he was here now. He sat down on the nearest bench, and once he did, he realized how much his feet and legs were actually hurting. “It’s always like this,” he mumbled. “Hey, body, why don’t you fucking, uh…let me know when shit’s happening to me? Isn’t that your job?” He fell silent for a moment. Then he shifted, laying down on the bench. He closed his eyes for a moment…
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Anti woke up to sunlight, red through his closed eyelids. Immediately, he realized he fell asleep, and he groaned. It had been years since he fell asleep on a park bench.
And there was something on his chest. Something rather light, but heavy enough to be noticeable, and clearly not a leaf or anything. He opened his eyes—
“What the fuck?!” He shouted, flailing and tumbling off the bench. The thing flew into the air, and stayed there. Anti scrambled to his feet and broke into a run again. What was this thing?! Why had he seen it three times so far?! What was he supposed to do about it?!
Well, either he was seeing things, or some magic shit was going on. And though he wasn’t much experienced in either of those matters, he knew people who did. Anti reached for his pocket, but then remembered how he’d thrown his phone, back in his apartment. He sighed. Guess he’ll have to head back.
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He ended up walking back to his apartment, because…well why not? Luckily, he hadn’t lost he key while he was out. Standing outside the apartment door, he hesitated, but took a deep breath and headed inside.
Nothing had changed. The room was still a mess, the table was still bristling with knives, and the smiles were still drawn on the walls. Anti tried to not look at any of this, eyes locking onto his phone on the floor as he navigated around the mess. He picked up the phone, examining it for damage. The screen was cracked, but it seemed alright otherwise. Relieved, Anti opened the door to his recording room and walked inside, not closing it behind him.
The phone was on low battery, so he rummaged around for a charger and plugged it in. While he waited, he slowly went about taking the knives out of the table and putting them back on the shelf where they were supposed to be. It seemed their glass case had been opened, but the lock still worked. Once all the knives, even the kitchen ones, were inside the case, Anti picked up his handgun and put it in there as well, closing the case and locking it. Quickly, he put the key all the way into one of the kitchenette cabinets.
Then he turned his head slightly and saw it.
Anti gasped, pressing against the wall, his eyes locked on it. “What the fuck do you want?!” He shouted. It didn’t respond.
Quickly, he rushed back to the recording room, unplugging his phone and turning it on. He glanced up and saw it in the doorway of the room. “No,” he said warily, backing up until he was against the opposite wall. When it didn’t move further, he sank down to sit on the floor, and opened up the group chat he had with the others.
The group chat was a fairly recent development. All of them were still getting used to using it, but it appeared as though there had been a string of new messages since he last used it. Not bothering to read them, Anti typed out, "Hey anyone here?"
Immediately, there were two responses: JJ sent "ANTI???" and Schneep sent "Anti?!?! "
"Oh good you are," Anti typed.
"Where the FUCK have you been?!" Schneep asked.
"Nevermind that," Anti replied.
"Anti, I’m sorry, but you’ve been gone for THE WHOLE NIGHT," JJ stressed. "What happened? Are you alright?"
The whole night? Anti checked the time on his phone and—holy shit, it was a little after noon. Anti sighed. Well, it wasn’t the first time he’d disappeared. Though it had been a while…he couldn’t believe he did it again; he thought he’d fixed that. "Long story, more important things," Anti said. "How can you tell if youre hallucinating?"
Schneep replied immediately. "If you look at it in a mirror or cell phone and it’s not there, then it’s a hallucination. Or you can take a picture and ask someone else if it’s there."
Anti looked up at the thing in the doorway. Slowly, he raised his phone and snapped a picture, sending it to the chat. "Is there a thing there?"
The others took a while to reply, and then Schneep sent: "Is this a prank? It is in very poor taste if it is, Anti."
"What?? No! Just tell me if its there!"
"Yes, theres a floating green eyeball in the picture," JJ sent.
Anti looked up again. The eyeball was about the size of a baseball, and it was looking right at him as it hovered. It was also glowing slightly. As Anti stared at it, its iris squished a bit, and the optic nerve coming from it swished a bit. "Well then what the fuck is it???" Anti asked. "Jackson youre the magic man, what is it?!"
"I don’t know," JJ replied. I"’ve never seen or even heard of anything like that before."
"WAIT I THOUGHT THAT WAS PHOTO SHOPPED, YOU ARE SERIOUS?!" Schneep asked.
The eyeball moved closer, and Anti let out an embarrassing shriek. It immediately stopped. “What do you want?!” He repeated.
After a quiet moment, the eyeball dropped down to the ground, bouncing a bit where it landed. It waved its optic nerve in the air. Staring, Anti started to take a video, then sent it to the chat as well. "DOES THIS LOOK FUCKING FAKE, VOLT?!"
"I DO NOT KNOW, YOU ARE VERY SKILLED WITH TECHNOLOGY!" Schneep replied.
Anti looked over at the eyeball again. “Can…can you say something?” he asked.
The eyeball wiggled side to side, like someone shaking their head.
“Was that a no?”
Another wiggle.
“Can you give me a yes?”
The eyeball bounced up and down.
Anti considered this. Knowing it could at least understand him made him a little less freaked out, though his heart was still pounding with the leftover adrenaline of thinking he was finally losing it. “Are…are you here…” He swallowed nervously. “…cause of what happened with Will? And Michelle?”
The eyeball tilted, then wiggled in another ‘No.’
“Oh…” Anti fell quiet. “What…are you doing here, then?” The eyeball didn’t respond, but instead rose into the air and inched closer. “Uh…not a yes or no, I-I get it. Uh…can you at least tell me if you’re here to hurt me? Are you here to somehow, like…I-I dunno, kill me or fuck with me?”
The eyeball stopped, pupil widening in an almost shocked way. It hurriedly wiggled a ‘No.’
“Okay…” Anti wasn’t sure where to go with this.
His phone started ringing. Anti looked down at the Caller ID, then picked it up.
“Anti?!” Jackie’s voice was breathless, as if he’d just run a marathon. “Anti are you okay?! What happened?! Are you alright?”
“‘M fine, Jackie,” Anti said.
“Are you sure?” Jackie asked.
Well, in actuality, ‘alright’ was subjective. Anti was tired, he had a cut on his arm that wasn’t covered, his body was aching in several places, and his heart was hurting, crying out. But was he in immediate danger? No. “Yeah, I’m sure,” Anti said.
“Jesus fuck!” Jackie shouted. “Y-you can’t just—I-I thought you were—we all thought you were—right after Michelle and Will, they—it was Distorter, I know it, he likes kids, I mean, not in a creepy way, or at least not in a way that’s creepier than he already is—fuck! Anti, we—Anti, I—h-he took—we thought he got you too, and I-I couldn’t—” A short sob interrupted the halting flow of words. “I couldn’t d-deal with…Michelle is gone, a-and you just—you were gone—”
“Hey, hey, Jackie, it’s okay,” Anti said, trying to sound reassuring. It was a bit difficult, but he tried. “I’m okay. And we’re going to get the kids back.”
On the other end, he could hear Jackie crying softly. “Not…give me a moment, Anti, I-I can’t do both these at once. Just…fuck, don’t do that again.”
“I won’t,” Anti said. He almost smiled. It was ironic, wasn’t it? Before he met Jackie and the others, he disappeared all the time. And nobody ever freaked out about him vanishing for a night or a day or even a few of them. If only Jackie knew. “I’m okay, I promise.”
There was another voice on the other end. Even from the distance, he recognized the accent. “Volt, I’m fine,” Jackie said, voice a bit quieter as if he was backing away from the phone. “I’m fi—well, no, but…just not that right now, I-I can’t do it.”
“Are you okay?” Anti asked softly.
“Not as not okay as I was a while ago,” Jackie said, returning to the phone. “You’re sure you’re alright? Volt says you thought you were hallucinating?”
Anti laughed. “I thought, yeah. But turns out it’s just…” He stared at the eyeball. It was closer now, just a meter away from him. “It’s just some weird magic shit. If it sticks around, we should call a meeting about it, but…I have to deal with this right now.”
“Oh. Okay. Sh-should I hang up?”
“If you want to.” Anti paused. “But…thanks for calling.”
“No problem,” Jackie said quietly. And he hung up.
Anti stared at the eyeball more intensely. “Is…is there any way you could tell me what you want?” he asked.
The eyeball swished its nerve. Then suddenly, it leaped forward. Anti jolted, trying to back up before remembering he was against the wall. The eyeball landed on his lap, then jumped up onto his shoulder, and…and stopped. It started to rub against his neck, like a dog or a cat nuzzling against its owner. Anti remained tense for a while, but when nothing happened, he slowly relaxed. “Uh…do you just want…to hang out?”
The eyeball appeared in front of his face. Its tail moved in a motion that could almost be considered a ‘so-so’ gesture.
“Oh…” Anti didn’t know how to respond from there. “Well…uh, feel free to.”
The eyeball bounced, and went back to sitting on his shoulder.
Anti stayed there, staring through the room’s open door to the ruined living room and kitchenette beyond. In just one night…it had all gone downhill. His son was gone, along with his best friend’s daughter. And he’d just…lost it. In a way he hadn’t in a while.
He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall. Tears started to leak from his eyes. And his shoulders started to shake. And with the strange eyeball doing its best to cuddle against him, Anti started to cry.