Mr. Miyamoto, thank god I finally found you. I actually only joined Cohost in order to get your attention. You won't believe me, but I am from the distant future. I have been sent back in time by a council of our grandest sages, using the last of our dwindling energy reserves before we are overtaken by the hordes of hideous cybermutants that have been warring with us for the past forty moons. I am here with a grave warning, and with it, a plea.

Do not, I repeat, do not, add your "slimy Mario" power up to the next Mario game. Please, I am fucking begging you. They couldn't handle it, none of us could. You have to understand, the world is on edge right now. Just a tiny tip is enough to plunge our whole society into an era you are not ready to unleash.

Please, for the love of God, save yourself from yourselves.