UPDATE!

Read Foreach from the beginning HERE.

went ahead and got the av (Juniper by FoxiPaws), but it was not appropriate for a concert hall because the Good performance-rated variant--pictured here at Shelter; second image is after consuming illegal drugs--literally only has hot pants, a sports bra, and a scrap of a jacket. guess i now have a good look for a rave though!

i was actually rather annoyed because the sales page lists no performance info. so honestly it was probably going to be Very Poor but i wouldn't have guessed how far into Very Poor it'd be: the full-fat versions are 254,000 triangles and blow past a bunch of other recommendations, too. as a performance-conscious player i honestly wouldn't have bought this if i'd known how heavy it was. well, a learning experience.

i mostly like it otherwise, definitely cute and i can possibly edit a few areas i don't love. it having face tracking (required getting a third-party DLC) is a big plus.

(no sheep were harmed in the process of archery-ing) (arching?) (archeryifying?)

there's an open range shoot here every sunday for as long as the weather is good so i may go more, though it's a little pricey ($50 for 1.5hrs).

i did the beginner class to get my bearings back (i shot like once a few years ago and haven't shot with regularity since 2006), and got second place in one of the games they did!

scene starts out with a close up shot of the protagonists face, it is very well lit

protag: wait, i have to stay five nights at that place?

cut to deuteragonist with the same shot style

deuterag: yes, you must stay FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S.

cut to second protagonist with the same shot style again

second protag: wait, i have to stay five nights there as well?

guess what? same cut

deuterag: yes, you must stay FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S, TOO.

camera cuts to "three", the third protagonist who sounds like someone who would say "radical!" unironically in the 90's, with the same shot

three: hey! the name's three! wait! i have to stay five nights over there along with the other two?

you already know

deuterag: yes you must stay FIVE NIGHTS AT FREEDY'S, THREE.

fourth protagonist, same shot silly

fourth protag: hey, thanks for inviting us to golf today-

camera cuts out to show that every introduced character is at a golf course, speciffically at a tee box. second protagonist is just about to start his driving stroke

after a few seconds, it goes back to ol' reliable camera angle

fourth protag: wait, i have to stay five nights too?!?

switch

deuterag: yes, you must stay FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S-

second protag: FORE!!

cuts to second protagonist absolutely smashing his ball into the fairway, everyone applauds

cut to fifth protagonist, surprise, its the same shot (camera, not golf)

fifth protag: wait, i'm not going to the same place as them, right? i have to stay at a sister location of sort for the same time period?

cut

deuterag: yes, you must stay FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S SISTER LOCATION.

sixth protag, similar to the first, same joke setup, but a whole lot worse

sixth protag: wait, i don't have pizza training for the stay, i heard there was a simulator?

if you know, you know

deuterag: yes, you must train with FREDDY FAZBEAR'S PIZZA SIMULATOR.

seventh protagonist, they are a fully cgi companion akin to bonzi buddy or that stupid paper clip

oh, yea, same cut

seventh protag: wait, there is an entire planet that exist based on people staying five nights at freddy's?

bazinga

deuterag: yes, FNAF WORD.

tertiary character that works for the golf course crosses by the deuteragonist's face, camera zooms out and focuses on the tertiary character in a golf cart with snacks

tertiary character: wow, sound like you guys have a pretty crazy night planned out!

cuts to deuteragonist, face encompassing the camera as always

deuterag: yes, it's going to be the ULTIMATE CUSTOM NIGHT.

camera zooms out and focuses on the tertiary character again

tertiary character: oh cool! snacks?

zoom out to show everyone

everyone (sorta in unison): nope, thanks.

tertiary character: ok!

tertiary character drives off

camera focuses first protagonist in the zoomed out view, very confused

protag: wait, why are there so many people staying five nights at freddy's?

same cut and camera as usual, but deuteragonist pulls out a flyer

deuterag: because on the flyer i posted it says "FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S: HELP WANTED". no maximum noted.

cut to protagonist, same fucking shot

protag: oh.

cut to eighth protagonist, same closeup but they are looking behind their shoulder

eighth protag: it's cool that this golf course is right next to a high security prison-

zooms out to show everyone introduced so far in golf attire, further into the same hole. there is a big fuck-off prison conveniently next to the golf course, behind the protagonists and deuteragonist

eighth protag: -i think someone is escaping. wait, i, too, have to stay five nights there?

aaaa

deuterag: yes, you must stay FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S-

fuck off prison: SECURITY BREACH, prisoner has escaped! SECURITY BREA-

ninth protagonist, first looking behind themself at the escaped convict, but looks at the deuteragonist with the shot that is as fresh as stale bread

ninth protag: wait, i have to stay five nights at some sort of ruin?

deuterag: not just any ruin, you must stay FIVE NIGHT'S AT FREDDY'S RUIN

scene end, cut to black

i expect audiences to be flabbergasted at the sheer epicness at display here, so add an applause sign at the end of the scene to give the audience and opportunity to show they loved every second of this scene

i am so fucking good at writing scripts, critics are going to eat this shit up