Today I came downstairs and nonchalantly glanced into my back porch and saw something strange through the blinds and past the window. A blob like possibly reptilian creature. I kept looking at the thing but I couldn't make it out; it's features escaped me. Was it an iguana? I've seen them in the area. No, the porch's screened door is closed nothing can get in. I had seen things similar to it but I still couldn't make it out. I saw a second one exactly like it, a shapeless familiar "thing". There were two of them? A whole species? I then realized that the two reptilian blobs were my sandals that I left outside to dry yesterday after getting them wet while trying and failing to give my leopard gecko a viking funeral 3 times.

There he goes!

"Shakira's ex and former footballer Gerard Pique falls off stage"