i cannot recommend learning to cut your own hair enough. ESPECIALLY if you wouldnt mind fixing a major mistake by just shaving it all off. but anyways like... you Can find a good haircut you like, that works with your hair type, with just some clippers and some basic shaping. i prommy

It rests upon my shoulders hard
A throbbing strain, a loathsome ache
Like a weight that threatens back’s break
And with it’s imprints, body’s scarred

Still it calls me to be on guard
This armored weight that I detest
Has kept me safe, has done its best
Though my soul it grinds down with skill
And sharpens, polishes my fragile will
Thus makes it hard for me to rest.

Definitely working through some stuff and some of that stuff is emotions. This is kind of an emotion I suppose. Like the bone deep weariness that comes from struggling against hyper vigilance. Maybe it's a shape of grief. I'm not too sure, but I wanted to write it, and wanted to get it out on some socials before it goes live on my patreon.

Anyway, thank you for reading, and have a nice day.