A Discord server I'm in that happens to be full of clowns has decided to collect its best shitposts in the nsfw chat and face them off against each-other with absolutely no context provided. There's some pretty funny stuff in there and like a quarter are things I said, so if you're OK with seeing adult content, give it a look!

Note about the Snake one: should be read as the Colonel saying the first part, Snake saying the second, and Colonel saying the third part.

As I head into the shower to make myself presentable before going out to see friends, I find myself thinking about how it's just fundamentally impossible for me to be clean, and how much I resent having to go through the motions of cleansing when my indelible essence is corrosive to everyone and everything near me.

I always do my best anyway, going so far as to put the water to borderline scalding, in deference to the fact that my mind is not perfect, and there should at least theoretically be some chance of at least partially sterilizing my filth to the benefit to those around me.

Y'know, just totally normal thoughts to have about hygiene

issuing correction on a previous post of mine, regarding the Cardassian Gul Dukat. you do not, under any circumstances, "gotta hand it to him"

I should just do a gofundme next year titled “help Ruby get rich” for $1,000,000 goal and then I never have to worry about money ever again if it gets funded, I’m very smart