preface: I'm mostly writing this to vent some frustrations from the perspective of a professional driver, so if you don't drive a hell of a lot, or for a living, it might not make sense.
the problem with being a good driver is that you become more and more jaded over time. you get your license with the desire to become the best and safest driver, and you're immediately thrust into an environment full of people who just don't give a shit. people who don't signal at all, or until it's too late, people who see stop signs and red lights as a suggestion, not to mention LITERALLY EVERYONE is used to breaking the speed limit already.
you think "oh, there are people putting me in danger without repercussions" but you also think "well if it's this way, then it'll be safer if I'm more predictable to everyone else." so you start learning what rules are best broken. you start speeding on certain roads and highways because everyone else is, and you don't want to be a road hazard. you never come to a complete stop at stop signs if no one else is there, the infamous rolling stop that everyone pretends not to be guilty of, but they all are.
eventually, after a decade or so of doing it, you're just more comfortable with the unwritten rules of the road than the written ones. 25mph is far too slow, some stop signs feel unnecessary as hell, and you feel stuck when someone in the fast lane is only going 5 over the limit. you start having more close calls. you almost hit a pedestrian or two. you start to think "why couldn't it be the way I was told it was? why didn't everyone just follow the rules so I didn't have to become a danger to myself and others?"
so you start taking it easier again. you realize, just because everyone is breaking the rules, doesn't mean you have to accommodate them all the time. sometimes your brain can't keep up with the speeds you're used to. sometimes the risky maneuvers are just too stressful to go for, even if you know you're capable. sometimes only 5 over is the perfect speed, and sometimes even going UNDER the limit feels nice!
being comfortable on the road is about just that - comfort. if you're uncomfortable, change your driving style to suit what feels right! if you're manic, maybe going faster and focusing on more will calm your brain. if you're overwhelmed, slow down and maybe even stop for a moment. keep yourself away from the limit of your ability, and you'll always have spare focus for when the situation demands.
through it all though, there are some rules that you should never break, and will always be a danger when you do. never fail to signal a turn or lane change, because predictability is key. never blow entirely through a stop sign without at least slowing to below 5 MPH, because you need that time to see if there is a hazard to actually stop for, and to analyze which other directions have their own stop signs or not. never go too much over the limit on residential streets or in school zones. if you can't stop the moment you see a kid run out into the road, you're going too fucking fast. there are a TON of people who are not in their own metal boxes who will die if you so much as tap them. their lives are insanely important, and I hope I never have to experience what it's like to hit someone.
so what about all of this makes someone a "good driver"? it's being able to temper yourself when other people aren't good drivers. it's being able to handle being behind someone slow as hell until you can safely get past them to freedom. it's knowing when you're going too fast to be able to react to something likely to happen on the road you're on. it's knowing the limits of your own driving ability, and not going faster, or driving riskier than you're able to handle in your current state of mind. it's always giving yourself as much room as you need to be able to mitigate someone else's shitty driving. and above all else, it's never driving in a way that risks pedestrians in spaces where they should feel safe.
I know this is my first post in a while, but I've legitimately been happier without social media, so being able to throw something into the void when I feel like it is genuinely nice. thanks, cohost.
