number of concurrent weird ticking noises: 3 (high score!)

Could you ceiling-mount it if you tried hard enough? Sure. That won't make it a ceiling fan, though.

Incidentally - there's just something funky about lamps on amazon. The same few styles of lamp always show up. Sometimes even as lamps.

Original Post

Remember to click the little "adult content?" check box whenever you post about:

• taxes

• mortgages

• bills

• the existential dread of getting older

Additionally, if you post about your job, and don't tag it as adult content, you implicitly support child labor and you're a bad person and I'm killing you

*unless you're cluster b