not many things are more infuriating than someone you're having a conversation with suddenly replying "well, why don't you fix it yourself then?" because you dared raise a single complaint about the current state of the world

if i ever disappear from the internet, only to reappear as a subject of a true crime podcast, it means i have finally decided to follow this advice, starting with the person in front of me (in minecraft)

"you'll never take me alive!" i say, cornered after my crime spree, as i smack myself in the head with a comically oversized mallet, then drop to the ground with the sound of a falling metal pipe, and a semitransparent blue specter slowly emerges out of my body