Heteronormativity.
Cisnormativity.
Allonormativity.
Mononormativity.
Anthroponormativity.

Violating any of these puts you in the queer box, and that's not up to you. And there really is just the one box. All of it gets enforced in roughly the same ways by roughly the same people.

Sometimes I see other queer people trying to exclude those last two (or even three, still) that I listed. Trying to carve up the box from the inside, as if that's even possible for people who didn't build it and don't have any power over who's put in. And while there's no excuse for throwing anyone under the bus, I kind of understand the worry that people will exploit scarce queer resources. So I'm gonna address those doubts directly.