This is the only way to exist. Your approach to enduring the slings and arrows of people who take pleasure in nitpicking media should be to emulate that part at the end of 8 Mile where Rabbit (Eminem, ofc) wins the rap battle by going first and admitting that all the insults Papa Doc is about to use against him are true and he doesn’t care.
The “Morse Code” scene in Independence Day is bizarrely chauvinistic for a movie written by a German, and there is no such thing as the ‘Golan Straits,’ but the entire sequence beginning with “it’s the Americans. They want to organize a counteroffensive!” and ending with the president’s speech* fills me with such joy that it gives me chills just writing it down.
Pocahontas is probably (?) the worst of the Disney Renaissance movies and objectively Less Than Ideal in a number of ways but the soundtrack goes unacceptably hard. “Just Around the Riverbend” slaps me into the next county whenever I think about it. Before “How Far I’ll Go” it was my favorite I Want song. It still might be.
The Core is a movie that starts off ridiculous and then becomes even less plausible, from the moment they crash-land the space shuttle. Stanley Tucci listening to all the reasons why they can’t do anything the plot of the film requires because it’s stupid as fuck, and then saying: “but what if we could?” is the high watermark** of cinema, Citizen Kane be damned.
I’m not… sure how far you need to reach to find anything good to say about Tank Girl, actually. It is a low-budget, questionably acted, very loose adaptation of the source material. Oh! Wait. No, a good thing about it is that it is Malcolm McDowell proving yet again that he is Tim Curry’s equal. Also it probably transed me long before Fallout: New Vegas had the chance to do so.
Waterworld is a very silly epic with an even sillier premise but a beautiful movie with an amazing score. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines had huge shoes to fill and didn’t even try but the ending gets me every time. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow should have stayed as a test reel but instead it became my hole, that was made for me. Starship Troopers is definitely A Movie, but not a Heinlein Movie, and yet Gestapo Doogie Howser augured NPH’s turn towards whatever it is he became.
I have only seen one Fast and Furious movie—one of the later ones; I don’t know which. They parachute cars out of an airplane and onto a mountain road. I can only describe it as a tour de force, although of what force, I cannot possibly say. It was glorious. It was so, so stupid, and glorious.
Tell me something I don’t know, Papa Doc :P Your <ding!>s have no power over me.
* Yes of course I can quote the president’s speech from memory. Please, what do you take me for?
** The previous high watermark was set seconds earlier, when the value of the Earth’s magnetic field was demonstrated by dramatically blowtorching a piece of fruit. The Core is amazing.
