change is scary.

change is scary.

Is the conscious real? Is the unconscious real? Can we take responsibility for the parts of us outside of us?

My kitchen is outside of me, but taking care of my kitchen is taking care of myself.

My roommate is outside of me, but how I perceive them is capable of being shifted. I need to choose to feel the places in which their tides push on my geometry. How can I let that geometry flow better, to let the ebbs and flows erode what's already there and expose something that thrives?

The intertidal zone is how continents come to be populated over time. I can foster their development. I can watch how extinction events and catastrophes hinder their growth - but "hinder" is a misnomer, isn't it?

Ecosystems can take many forms when stagnation is prohibited. Are ebbs of depression and flows of great joy a driver of nonlinear growth? does "growth is not linear" mean that we need to see lulls in our mind's activity as incubating for the next explosion? is regression necessary for growth?

We can't always be growing, and there's a limit to how much a system can grow. So it needs to see itself many times in many ways.

I'm going to let myself shift into someone else - the time of the werewolf has faded with the dawnward moonlight. The dual to the adored and celebrated sexuality of the flower needs to reveal its demonic backside. She needs to revel in her depravity now. Her revilation can become revelation alongside delicate, naturalized floral perfumes.

This is my fursona, Cayman Went. Most people know me as a crow, as seen in the first picture. I'm a crow, my beak shined and my feathers preened. I am a cat, with pierced ears and a leather jacket, a rabble-rouser out for trouble. I'm a kobold, a feisty shortstack who excels at video games and loves some good couch time with his friends.

This is Cay, not just one, but many. As parallel with myself, I am also not just one.

Is Cay a crow, a cat, a kobold? The answer is yes. Is Kris, the one behind the sona, a diligent worker, a party animal, a punk, a gamer? Yes.

I want Cay to represent me, and there's no one facet, one species that can really encompass it. Cay is a crow, a cat, a kobold, or whatever else he needs to be, and so am I. Kris is not Cay, but Cay is part of Kris deeply, in a way that can't be defined.

I'm a crow, I'm a cat, I'm a kobold. I'm Cay, and I'm Kris. It's good to meet you.

Slowly realizing as I take a hot shower that all these Cayforms and characters might just be species I’d want to be…?